Blinded by love

Chapter 3-Shattered dreams

"The....the results are out!",she stammered.

My heart beat gradually increased.Within a few seconds,I could hear my heart thudding in my chest.My hands were cold as ice.I did write my exam well,but I think people reflexly get tensed when the results are out.

"It was Devaki ma'am on the phone.She had called to inform that the results are out earlier than announced.",suzi continued,turning on the computer.

We first checked Sushma's results cause she looked she might faint any second.She had scored 91% and was in the verge of tears.I typed my number,my hands shivering in fear.It took a minute for the page to load.The longest minute of my life so far.Once the page loaded,I scrolled down to see my percentage.I had got 94% and both me and Sushma were extremely happy with our results.We rushed downstairs to tell the news to Sushma's mother and she felt so proud of her daughter.She hugged her hard and kissed her all over the face.My heart felt heavy as stone when I saw how happy Sushma's mom was,wishing my mom would be just as happy too.

We spent the rest of the day watching movies and I messaged my parents about my results.Every two minutes,I kept checking my phone hoping for a joyous reply from my parents.But none came.

I reached home at seven and went straight into the kitchen.Mom was making dosas for dinner,and the aroma of her delicious sambar filled the room.

"Ma...you received my message?"

She turned and smiled at me.

"Yeah,Aarthi.I did.Congrats.",she said,giving out her hand for a shake.

I shook hers."Thanks.Is appa back?"

"Yeah,he is in the room"

I went into my parents room and found my dad sitting comfortably on the bed with a laptop in front of him.

"Dad!?"

"Aarthi,come,come.Congratulations,my girl!",he said,pride filling his eyes.

"Thanks,dad!I'm glad you are happy!"

"Happy!??I'm overjoyed.Look,I was just looking for the best engineering colleges for you.",he said,turning the laptop towards me.

"Engineering?",I asked,confusion carved on my face.

"Yeah,I think you must join sastra.It has a nice reputation"

"But pa,I wanna do psychology.You know I took computer science only for your sake."

"Come on,be sensible.You have scored so well and you have so much of talent.You must use it."

"What do you mean by 'sensible',dad?What is it that you find so insensible in my idea?",i said,half shouting.

"What I find insensible is that, of all courses you choose something that deals with mentally retarded people.How do you think I would feel when I go around telling people that my daughter is treating lunatics!What about our family's prestige?What will our relatives think of you when all their children are in honorable professions?Did you even..."

"Cut the crap,dad!I don't give a damn about what our relatives would think of me nor about our family's prestige.All you are worried about is your dignity,your prestige and your royalty.Did you think about me,my wishes and my happiness!That's the last thing on your mind,is'int it!?"

"That's your limit,Aarthi.Watch your words and behave yourself."

"I did,dad.I did.Which is why I am now standing in this position.Had I been stubborn till I get what I want ever since I was young,I wouldn't be standing before you,begging you to let me reach my dreams.What did I ask you for,dad!?",I said with tears pooling in my eyes.

"What did you have to ask for?You got everything before you had to ask for it.You have a scooty,the latest gadgets on store..."

"Did I ask you for it?You think that makes me happy?",I said,cutting him short.

"Have I ever once asked you for your luxury?Have you got any idea how much I have had to loose in life?Do you even know what I want?I want a nice mother.I want a mother who actually cares about me.I want a mother who would hold me in her arms and feel really proud of me.Can you give me this,dad!?Can you wipe out all the pain that I have been hiding in my heart for all these years?Can you replace my fake smiles with real ones?Can you do this dad?Cause this is all I want!",I said,staring at him.

He stared back at me as if I was talking gibberish.

"Aarthi,that's something you have to sort out with your mother.Now,I'm going to apply for you to join engineering in Sastra and you are doing it.Argue another word and you will see the ghastly side of me.",he said,with a hard face.

"I've lost every ounce of respect I had for you.",I said and rushed to my room.

I fell on my bed and wept for a long time with the memories of my lonely childhood playing in my head.My yearning to become a psychiatrist has been shattered withing a second.I know that my ambition is indelible.But I don't think I can convince my dad.There is no point in talking to mom about this.What should I do now?Throw my dreams in the trash and sacrifice my career also??Or should I put a brave foot ahead and march towards my goal?I don't know.