Blinded by love

Chapter 36-Building a new life

I walked through the streets of Bangalore,pushing the pram ahead of me.The gentle breeze blew my hair onto my face blocking my vision.I shook it aside and took a look at the paper I had in my hand.I had the address written on it.Maaya was enjoying the new state,giggling at people whoever went past us.She got compliments like 'Oh sweetie','She's cute' sorta remarks and waves of hi as we go.Not to forget the couple of winks and a number of glances that I've been getting.Its just that,I'm not interested in relationships anymore.So,just forget it.This kid has the capacity to attract just about anyone.There are almost five Cafe Coffee Day's around the guest house where we live in.Just as I was getting frustrated,I found one of them.I pushed the door open and went inside.I walked to the counter where a girl in her mid twenties stood in her uniform.

"Good morning ma'am.",she wished.I smiled.

"Hmm...Actually,I'm looking for a job somewhere around.Got any idea if there are any vacancies here?"

She let out her breath,looking a little annoyed that I was not a customer.She shook her head and stared at me for a long time.

"No vacancies here,as of now!"

I nodded and walked out.I began my search for the next cafe and this time,it didn't take me too long.And this time,again,there was no vacancy,unfortunately.I went around the whole area the rest of the morning,getting into every cafe or any place where I thought I could find a job.And each time,I only got sorry as an answer.I might have got into twenty places asking for a job and in some places,even pleading cause they declined me since I had no basic degree.I sat down at the cafe and put my head in my hands,finally realizing how much I had lost in life.I lost my education,the thing that's supposed to hold anyone upright even if their personal life is messed.But here I am,the unfortunate,pathetic and useless human who has lost both in my career and my personal life.Realization killed the new found confidence in me,little by little.Images from my past ran in my mind....The ambitious girl,always dreaming of being the best psychiatrist in India,waiting for a chance to help someone,give them the strength to move ahead in life and teach them the rare yet precious habit of optimism.I was always there for people,to help them up and to make them understand that there was still a reason for them to live.I was there for everyone then and now,I'm not even there for myself,let alone anyone else.Where is she?Where is that Aarthi,the girl who made this world a better place to live?The harder I think,the more I get reminded of the girl I can't find in myself  anymore.Tears wet my hands and I let out a silent sob.

"Excuse me?",a deep voice interrupted.I looked up and found a young man standing next to me.I quickly wiped my tears and suddenly heard Maaya's wails.She was crying terribly and how come I didn't hear it?I picked her up and pated her.She cooled down a bit and put her hands around me.

"Sh-She's been crying for a long time,so...I...just....",he stammered and I nodded.I still couldn't find my voice and I'm not exactly in the mood to deal with a stranger.I stared at the cold coffee in front of me and kept patting Maaya.

"Are...you ok?",he asked,annoying me.Do I look ok,for Lord's sake.What sort of question is that?A person doesn't cry in a cafe so badly that she can't even hear her child's wails simply because she is bored.

"Is there a problem,mister?",I half shouted,looking at him properly for the first time since he came.He had light brown eyes radiating calmness and a great deal of concern.I felt a shiver run up my spine and I looked away.

"Nothing...I...hm...just thought.."

"Will you please leave us alone?".He murmured a sorry and walked away.A part of me felt sorry for him but I just wasn't in the mood to apologize.I let it go and drank my cold coffee,paid and left.I decided to go to Mount Carmel college and get an admission there.It was just a couple of minutes walk from the place I was in.In almost five minutes,I was in Mount Carmel college.The brown and peach colored building with Mount Carmel College written on it immediately brought a smile to my lips.And the real good thing is that,the smile reached my eyes and soothed my heart.My heart thudded faster in the excitement of getting into a college and building a life all over again.And this time,I promised myself that I'll be extra careful.I went to the entrance and the watchman stopped me.