Blinded by love

Chapter 35-Crossed fingers

Since I had slept early,I woke up in the middle of the night,for the first time heartily happy and in peace.After making sure Maaya was asleep,I placed a huge pillow next to her to stop her from falling off.I then quietly looked for my laptop on the shelf where I usually keep it and found it there,tucked in at the same place where I had left it then.I took it and went downstairs,making sure I didn't make the slightest noise.I turned on the night lamp in the hall and sat next to it and turned on the laptop.After a lot of trial and error,I finally found out my password and logged in.I quickly opened Google and looked for places where I could possibly earn a living easily and maybe even study something with mom's help.I almost surfed through all the websites which offered cheap living and nominal facilities and finally ended up choosing a decent place in the costliest city-Bangalore.I'm not into software but I chose that place cause I feel there would be more job opportunities there.After hours of searching,my eyes burned like fire.I looked for the time in the laptop and it showed ten past five.I pulled back my head and rested it on the sofa,closing my eyes to rest.I slept off for sometime until the light which somehow went on disturbed me.I opened my eyes and blinked a few times trying to adjust to the sudden light.Mom walked to me and sat down next to me.I turned to her,my heart suddenly beating hard in the tension if the night had changed her love for me.Betraying my doubting mind,she gave me one of her gorgeous smiles and stroked my hair.I smiled back at her,half in relief.

"What are you doing so early?",she asked.I turned the laptop to her side and she glanced at the list of places,colleges,residents that I had typed up in Word.

"What is this?"

After keeping quiet for a few seconds,I said,"I'm going,mom.To Bangalore...."

My mom stared at me,her eyes turning pale and sad.I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and she swallowed hard.

"Mom...I really wanna stay but...",I began to explain,sensing her sadness but she stopped me.

"I understand.Your safety is more important to me.If you are safe,if not here,at least somewhere,I'm more than glad.You...are the biggest asset to me.I won't risk losing you,Aarthi.",she said,forcing a smile.It was hard for her,I knew.But she still cares about me,loves me from the deepest of her heart.I don't need a proof,I can just see it in her eyes.She looks at me the same way I look at Maaya.Nothing can mean more than this in this majestic planet.

I quickly hugged her and she stroked my back.Her tears wet my dress and I immediately pulled back.

"Don't cry,mom.I'll always be there with you.When you wanna see me,you can gimme a call and I'll rush back here.Ok?"

She nodded and wiped her tears.She tied up her strangled her into  neat bun.

"So...What are your plans?"

"I don't really know,mom.I'm going to Bangalore,that is all I know.I was looking up for colleges and I found this one called...Mount Carmel college somewhere in Sankey's Road.So,I guess,I'll find a place somewhere there."

She slowly nodded,thinking of something.

"They offer this course which has Psychology,English Literature and Jounalism.I'm thinking of taking that up.What say,ma?"

"Ofcourse.And I'll be paying the fees,ok?"

"Yeah,mom.I don't have that much money in the first place.So,I will have to take your help."

In a few minutes,I was telling her all about Meghna,Kabir,nani and the wonderful life I have left and come.I didn't bring up the topic of Virat but I told her about Abhishek.Only when I began to sob,I realized that I had been crying all this while and I didn't even know it.I fell on her lap and wept,wept till my throat was dry and I could cry no more.Talk to your friends,neighbors,psychiatrists or even try  convincing yourself but nothing can hold a candle to the comfort that a mother can give.She has that in born power in her,the magic in her strokes,words,looks and even her 'its ok' gives you the power to get back on track and fight even the whole world all by yourself..And now,as I fell on her lap and as she stroked my back telling me to calm down repeatedly,I could feel that power,for the first time in my life.The sort of power that I have never felt before.I've always consoled myself,pulled myself back on track and boosted up my confidence but I have never felt this way before.This is something unreal.