Blinded by love

Chapter 5-The voyage to a new land

"Ghaadi number ek-che-ek....."the loudspeaker screamed in our ears,alerting us.

"Hey,I think the train has come.",he said,standing up.

I nodded,getting up too.

"It was nice meeting you",he said,giving me a hug.

I hugged him back.We both have developed a sibling relationship in the few hours that we met.

"Nice meeting you too.Take care."

"Be careful and contact my sis.Bye...All the best!",he said,walking towards the train.

I nodded and waved to him,smiling.

He then jogged off to find his friend and I felt a little lonely without him.I wore my earphones and heard some songs to while away my time.Luckily,my train was twenty minutes early.I got into the train,dragging my suitcase behind me.As soon as I found my seat,I pushed my suitcase beneath it and sat,clutching my bag close to my chest.

The train departed promptly on time.I felt a sense of peace rushed through me as the train slowly left the station.I knew then,that my life is going to change forever.I now have all the liberty to do what I want.I smiled at the thought of it.I hung my bag on the hook and looked around.An old couple sat adjacent to me.Both were reading a magazine and seemed pretty engrossed in it.I turned towards the window and sat hugging my legs.My mind drifted towards the past,the past I wish I can forget.

I was a small girl back then,just like every other girl around me.While everyone was crying for barbie dolls,I was silently praying that my mom would kiss me goodnight that night.It might seem like a very kiddish wish but you can never understand what it feels like unless you face it.Days,months and years passed by,but my daft wish never came true.But even today,I long for that.My parents were never beside me when I first walked,they were not there to photograph my toothless smiles.My dad did not teach me to ride bicycle nor did my mom teach me cooking.When I was eight,I went to the neighbourhood park,all alone and stood there waiting for my chance on the swing.Another girl was also waiting but I reached the empty swing first.I sat on the swing and tried to swing myself but I couldn't cause my legs didn't reach the ground.That girl pushed me aside and took my place and her mom swung her.The longing for my mother began that day.

My mom joined work five months after I was born.Dad hardly took leave after the day of my birth.They had hired a caretaker and she baby-sitted me till I was twelve.By then,I learnt to cook so I told my parents that I'd be by myself.I spent the first half of my life at home with the care-taker and the second half by myself.So,I hardly know what it feels like to have nice parents.

A cool drop of tear hit my hand,bringing me back to the present.I quickly wiped the tears that were flowing and looked around to see if anyone saw.No one had.Even if they had,at least they didn't stare at me.

I glanced at my watch and it showed nine-thirty.I took my bag and chose a book to read.I plugged in my earphones and began reading.The novel was very compelling so I kept reading,unaware of the time.

After God-knows-how-long,my stomach growled loudly in hunger.So loudly that you would sometimes wonder if anyone heard it.Only then did I realize that I was starving.More that that,my throat was parched.

"Aunty,which way is the canteen?",I asked the old lady.

"I think its towards the left"

I thanked her and rushed to the canteen.I got chapati-kurma,a water bottle and some snacks.I came back to my seat and ate the chapati.I felt full by then,so I kept the chocolates and chips inside my bag.

"No wonder.You haven't eaten anything ever since you got into the train.",the old lady said.

"Yeah,aunty.I began reading this book and ultimately drowned myself in it.",I replied,gulping some water.

"Look,its almost four.You shouldn't starve yourself for this long,child."

I smiled and turned to see if anyone had joined us.Two more ladies were seated diagonal to me and were deep in conversation,so I assumed they might be friends.I continued with my book and stared at the window for sometime.

"Here,they are running the train just for you.",someone screamed in my ears,waking me from my sleep.

"Sorry,I slept off.",I apologized,picking my book which had fallen down.

I rubbed my eyes to get a clearer view of the lady.It was one of the ladies who had joined us.She was wearing a green saree and a big bindi.I looked out the window as the lady stood there staring at me.The sky was dark and I could see nothing.

"Do you wanna sleep,aunty?"

"Then what,its almost ten!Now,will you move to your berth and let me sleep!",she harped,with a stern face.

I nodded and went to the upper berth which was mine.I was still half asleep so I decided to sleep till dawn.The train would reach Mumbai by then,I realized and slept.

I woke up at approximately four thirty in the morning.I got down the berth and peeped into the neighbouring berths.Most of them were sleeping while the others were talking in hushed voices.I quickly brushed and climbed to my berth as the lady in the lower berth was still sleeping.

I sat there wondering what to do as my thoughts shifted to Sushma.I realized how my life has changed drastically in a day.Just before two days,I was happily roaming around Chennai,enjoying my holidays and now,here I flee to an unknown place,having no idea about my future.A sudden rush of fear ran through my mind.I have enough money to survive for a few days,but after that?What will I do for a living?Where will I stay?Have I taken the wrong decision?Should I have obeyed my dad and studied engineering?

I got goosebumps as the questions piled up one after the other.

"Why me,Lord!",I silently voiced.

"Why did you create me to be so different from others,from my character till my life.Yes,I have always been proud about my independent nature,my boldness,my morals and everything about me.But did you ever realize that even a self-reliant person would want some solace.Do you know that I too want someone to guide me and tell me that things would be fine?Do you know that right now I want a person who would hug me tight and make me feel that life can't be better?What do you hold in store for me,Lord!?"

I held my head in tension and realized that I've been talking to thin air.

I looked above at the fan,closed my eyes and took a deep,reassuring breath.

"Whatever it is you have decided to make me face,just give me the strength to get through it all with courage,patience and will power.Hold my hands tightly and lead me towards the right path.More than that,let me be 'me' at all stages of my life.",I prayed.

By then,my stop was about to come.So,I got down the berth and found that the lady has gone out somewhere.I took my suitcase,put on my bag and mentally prepared myself for the challenges that lied ahead.I took my luggage and stood near the doorway,waiting for the train to stop at the station.