Blinded by love

Chapter 16-Lost love

I just can't wait to see Virat's face when I say him the news.He's gonna become a father now!He'll be so excited about it.We must marry soon or there might be other remarks and problems later.There are lot of things to sort out.There are so much things to discuss about our child now,so much to plan about our future.Such thoughts kept me awake all night,not in fear but in glee.I woke up at five the next morning after forcing myself to sleep.I cooked,bathed and dressed in a gray tee and blue jeans.After a long time,I wore make up with the aim of pleasing my boyfriend.By eight,I was all set,waiting for him to come with ants in his pants.

Time went by,the clock struck twelve but there was no sign of him...Only then I remembered how he sounded over the hone the previous day.I called him in his mobile but he never picked it up.I kept calling again and again but finally his mobile was switched off.I could sense that something was wrong.After an hour,I got a call from an unknown number.

"Hello."

"Aarthi,its Virat here.Can you come to the park near our house?"

"Yeah sure.I'll be there in few minutes but..."

He cut the call before I could finish my sentence.I could sense that something was wrong but I just couldn't point my finger on what it is.I took my purse and locked the door carefully before I left to the park.When I reached there,Virat was standing near the bench.I rushed and hugged him and he held me.

"Virat,I need to tell you something!Its a wonderful news,you'll be so happy to hear it."

He didn't look as excited as I expected him to be.In fact,he looked deadpan and that put me off.I kept silent and he never spoke anything either.

"Aarthi,I need to tell you something too.",he said,breaking the silence.

I looked up,meeting his eyes but he ignored mine.

"Aarthi....look,don't get senti about this but...I just have to do this.Trust me,its just for our good.I....I'm getting married to another girl.My father's friend's daughter...."

I was frozen when he said that.That was the last thing I ever wanted to hear in my lifetime.He paused,possibly waiting to hear some sort of response from me but what can I say?I mean,what I thought was my life is now leaving me and he says that there is nothing to be senti about it!I mean,I thought we were meant to be together.I thought we couldn't survive without each other but now...he is marrying another girl?How could he do this even after knowing how much he meant to me?I swear I can't imagine a life without him.And...what about his baby whom I'm bearing?

"I'm sorry...I..didn't mean to ditch you!"

It stung to hear him actually put it into the right words.Yes,he is gonna ditch me.He is gonna shatter my life into pieces.No,he has done all that already.I'm gone...right when I heard him say that he is gonna marry someone else.How can he afford to have one in heart and marry another?Maybe he never loved me?Maybe he just used me?

I was furious,I felt dejected,I wanted to hold his hands and make him love me like he used to.I felt a lot more but I just couldn't do anything.I felt numb.Finally I put together all the energy I had mentally and physically,and found my voice.

"I... can't believe you did this to me!You meant the world to me,Virat!You were my first love and I was sure you'd be holding my hands till my last breath.Now...what has happened to your words?My heart is beating to live with you...not just today,tomorrow or the day after,but forever and ever till the day I die?Were they all mere words written in air?I thought you meant them!"

By then,tears were streaming down my face endlessly.I feel like dying and tears are the minimal of expressing what I feel like,right now.When I now think of my future,it looks blank.I have nothing to live for anymore.I don't see any point.Why does this keep happening to me alone?I wanted to study psychology but my parents went against it and now,I love Virat with all my heart but he is marrying another girl.I bet no one's life can be as pathetic as mine!Why is that God keeps targeting my castles and breaks them when I build it with love from the deepest of my heart?

I began to sob,thinking of all this.

"Aarthi...don't cry!I'm sorry...",he said,walking closer,trying to hold my hands but I pulled away.

"Don't touch me,you moron!I can't believe I lost myself to a feckless person like you.What a shame!I don't need your pity.You can marry anyone you want.I CAN survive without you.Yes,you meant the world to me but not anymore.Not when I don't mean the same to you.Get out of my sight.",I screamed,showing all the fury that I suppressed.

As soon as I said them out loud,I wanted to take them all back.I can't live without him,not in my wildest dreams.What I said were meaningless words,words that can never be put into action.I want him back.I want him to whisper sweet nothings into my ears once again.I want him to caress my cheeks and make me feel amazing.I want it all back....

"You....wanted to tell something!",he began,his voice shivering as he spoke.

I shook my head and said,"Nothing,you don't have to know.Not anymore."

He turned and walked away without another word.I stood all alone in the park,trying to pick the broken pieces of my shattered life.The one person whom I loved from my soul is no more in my life.The kisses,the hugs...everything is gone.How am I gonna live without him?

After a long time,I managed to walk home.I thrashed myself in the bed,trying to cry my heart out.But I just couldn't.Its one of those moments when you want to pour out your emotions but our mind is occupied with other thoughts.

As I sat,my mind flashing different memories of our days together,I felt someone shake me.

"Aarthi,what's wrong?",Meghna said,shaking me from my thoughts.

I looked at her,my face devoid of any emotion.

"Are you ok?You look dull!"

I didn't reply.What can I say?That my boyfriend left me?That I'm alone,bearing a child without any security for my future?That I feel like hanging myself?That I lost the one whom I thought would build a life with me?

I stared into blank space,unable to talk anything.I wish I could but I could barely open my mouth.

"What did Virat say?",she said,trying to cheer me.

"Nothing."

I went to the hall trying to ignore hearing his name.The name which once gave me blushes is now making me feel so disgusted.I feel filthy after being touched by him.She followed me behind,I could hear her footsteps.

"Aarthi,look at me.",she said sternly.

"You don't have to tell me what it is unless you feel like but I promise,whatever it is,I'm there with you.We can face this together,you are not alone.That's what sisters are for."

She said just the words that I wanted to hear at the moment and I couldn't hold it in anymore.I fell into her arms and wept loudly till my throat felt dry.

Sometimes,life throws you the type of situations which you just can't handle alone.No matter how capable you are of standing on your own two feet.Everyone in this planet needs a person who can tell the right words at the right time.