We sat in the garden,the full moon pouring its glorified light on us.All of us sat on the blanket that Kabir laid on the grass and played cards.I stared up at the moon in awe at its glamour,silently thanking God for giving me the strength to reach so far in spite of all the obstacles and painful moments.
"Your turn,madam",Meghna said,tapping my legs.
I nodded,looked at the card and dropped off a six dice.I looked at Laila who had to play next.She chewed her lower lip for a few seconds and dropped a card with great hesitation as if it were a war of life and death.Kabir scowled at her,annoyed that she hasn't dropped the card that he wanted.Smiling in pride,she sipped her coke and looked at me.I smiled.
"The baby is growing,I guess!",she said,seeing me stroke my tummy in a wider arc.
I smiled and nodded.This is the first time we are talking about my pregnancy in the past two weeks that we have met.
"Your monthly check-up...We missed it this month!",Meghna said in horror.
"You shout at nani when she reminds you!!",Kabir said,shaking his head.
"You shut up!No one asked you anything.Its not like you remembered either."
"GUYS,please!We can go tomorrow if Mridula aunty is free.",I said and they agreed.
Laila kept staring at me the whole time and I could see that she was waiting to ask something but was hesitant about it.
"Aarthi....I've never seen your husband at all?He's not in town?",Laila asked after a long time.
Even though I forced myself to not feel edgy by this question,I was.Till now,no one put forth that question to me.I always presumed that Meghna took care of it but truth has hit me on the face like a storm of dust and I just have to close my eyes and help myself away from it cause honestly,I'm still not strong enough to face it.But,I think its too late.Like how the dust disturbs our eye,her question has already made a trademark in my heart,readily differentiating me from others.No matter how far we come from the olden days trend and be obstinate about the fact that men and women are equal,I would say that its all a mere bluff.Even today,when a girl is pregnant and is not married or does not live with her husband,there still exists the peculiar and weird looks and whispers about that girl.They don't even bother to think about the reason behind it.Her husband has thrown her out of the house and that's all it matters to stamp her as a useless brat.Of course,in my case,it was my fault.My fault....not in my character nor in my attitude but in my blind trust.I trusted him....from the core of my heart.I thought he really loved me as much as I loved him,I thought we were truly in love,I thought that that love was meant to be forever....I thought everything but never once got a real approval for it.I never asked him if my thoughts were meant to come true or not cause I trusted him that much.
Kabir and Meghna looked at each other and then at me.Laila,her gaze constantly on me,demanding an answer.
"I....",I couldn't continue.My voice broke.I blinked away the tears,swallowed hard,bit my lower lip and did anything to make myself feel cool-headed by this question but I couldn't.Virat's face,his smile,the taste of his lips....I can still feel it.No matter how much he has hurt me,I just can't help but still love him in the core of my heart.Sometimes,when things remind me of him,I curse at him from outside but I know that my heart still prays for him,wishes he'd be happy if not with me,atleast with another girl.He left me for another girl,he had told his father to get our child aborted,he must have known that his father kidnapped me and beat me up like shit and still he kept mum.Though I pray for him to happy,I still don't think I can accept him back into my life again.
I inhaled from my mouth and said,"I'm not married." I let the drop of tear flow down my cheeks.I felt Meghna's hand reach to mine and give it a assuring squeeze but I was not assured.What do you expect me to be assured of?That its normal to be pregnant even though I'm not married?That my child,when he/she grows up wouldn't ask for its daddy?That everything will surly be fine and I can laugh without a care in this mighty world?That the 'I'm getting married to another girl' words by Virat that's echoing in my ears right now are just nothing but a crazy nightmare?
YOU ARE READING
Blinded by love
Teen FictionAarthi,the passed out twelfth grader who has come out with flying colors is an ambitious and philosophical young lass.She grows up to be an independent women,dealing with the perplexity of life all by herself.Although she trained herself to be flex...
