Lucy In The Sky

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

I laid weeping on my bed until late hours of the evening. I was in a miserable dreamland for what seemed like hours. I listened to the continuous sound of my clock ticking, like a bomb ready to explode, until the sound drove me insane. Suddenly my sadness transformed into a wave of anger and I fiercely leapt off my bed, clenched my fists and yelled at the top of my lungs. Thankfully, my parents were away with friends that night so I was free to let my emotions flood out. 

I paced my small bedroom, attempting to vent my emotions, but I began to feel like a caged zoo animal.  I felt like running a marathon, so much negative energy had built up inside of me that I felt as if I had to get rid of that energy through running; being free. With this sudden thought and burst of energy I slipped on my flat t-bar shoes, grabbed my keys and ran out the front door without looking back. 

The time did not even occur to me, I could tell the night was drawing in, only street lights lit the roads and the air was chilly. I ran as far as I could until my lungs couldn't take it any more, I found myself in Paul's neighbourhood when I finally decided to take a break. In every direction I looked all I could see was light seeping through shut curtains and the quiet buzz of radios. My emotions began to play games with me again and I began to weep to myself, twirling the hair John had passionately hated between my fingers whilst looking down the dark, dreary streets of Liverpool. I gasped for breath between each sob and wiped away my tears with my blouse sleeve that was now stained black from mascara. I began to regret my decision to run, it seemed as if I was pretty useless at making decisions recently, although one good decision I had was to visit Paul that night.

I wiped away my remaining tears and made my way to Paul's house, stumbling down the desolate streets of Allerton in the late hours of the evening. When I reached his home I stood, staring blankly at his house before his gate. I had never been more thankful to see the light beaming from Paul's tiny window situated above his front door. I carefully crept over his stupidly tiny gate and made my way to his front door, although I did not plan to knock. Instead I hid myself in his overgrown hedge and found a pebble to throw at his window. I threw the rock as gently as possible, crossing every finger in hope that he was actually there and noticed my knock. There was no reaction. I repeated the process and threw another stone at his window and hid in his hedge. This time there was a reaction.  

I saw a hand slowly and carefully push open the window. "Who's there?" I heard him whisper-shout. I sighed from relief and crept out the hedge. 

"Paul, I'm here! It's me." I yelped as quietly as possible, giving him puppy dog eyes as I gazed up to him popping his head out of the window.

"Lucy? What are you doing here?" He said with concern, checking his surroundings.

"I... uhm, I fancied... a run." I lied, a tear trickling from my eye. Now, if there is anyone who knew me better than myself, it would be Paul. He shook his head in pity, he knew something was wrong. 

"Well dad's asleep, like, 'nd Mike is still downstairs. You'll have to come in a window, a'right? Go down the side of me house, wait by the second window. I'll meet ye there, okay?" he instructed me, shutting his window and dashing down stairs. I did as he told me and sneaked around the side of his house, waiting at the bathroom window. 

Suddenly, I heard the door slam shut and I nervously put my fingers on the window ledge waiting for Paul. 

"Luce! Are ye there?" I heard him say alongside the sound of bottles falling to the floor. 

"Yes, are you okay?" I asked as Paul began to lift the bathroom window. It was an old, white frame and the paint was chipped, Paul struggled to pull it open due to it's rusty hinges in need of replacement. 

"I am fine..." Paul began, signalling for me to come in with a hand gesture whilst keeping the window open with his other arm. "The real question is," he said, taking my hand and carefully helping me climb through his bathroom window. "Are you okay?" he finished. I looked up at him, his eyes told me he cared, a look I had rarely got from John the past few months. My eyes brimmed with tears, I grabbed onto Paul's waist and sobbed into his chest. Listening to his constant, repetitive heartbeat comforted me as I discharged my emotions. 

"Lucy, sweetheart. What on earth is the matter?" he murmured as he gently stroked my back.  I released my firm grip from around his waist and perched on the edge of his bath. My head fell into my hands and suddenly I felt as if I weighed a ton. Tears continued to roll down my cheek as I tried to blabber my problems to Paul.

"I'm an awful person. What have I done? Everything is ruined, Paul. John hates me, everyone at school thinks I am a whore, I look like a whore with this bloody awful haircut, Stu is dead, I lost my baby and I am going to fail school. I am a stupid wreck, I don't deserve to even..." I began to blather. 

"Lucy, stop this." Paul cut me off. I looked up at him through teary eyes, he looked almost... disappointed in me. He tilted his head sympathetically, sat himself next to me on the bath and stroked my palm sensitively. "Listen to me. It will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. You're a wonderful girl with the kindest of hearts, y'know that? John don't hate ye, he's just going through a lot and he's a surprisingly sensitive man. I've come to learn that the hard way, too." he said, rolling his eyes at the thought. "Stu is dead and there ain't nothing we can do about it apart from move on and remember him for all things good. He was a great man, y'know... real great. But Luce, ye gotta trust me that things will get better with time. You're a bird, y'know. A bird with a broken pair of wings, but you've got to take these broken wings and learn to fly. You can get through this, Lucy. I know ye can."

PAUL'S P.O.V

Lucy looked up at me and wiped away the tears trickling down her face, it felt like a stab in the heart to see her hurt like this, especially when the person hurting her is your best friend. She placed her head on my shoulder and we sat in silence for a while, I think she liked it, just sitting there peacefully in the company of someone she relied on. At times like these I wished I wasn't so hopelessly in love with her.