I Will

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It was the day after I had woken up, Friday morning. I had been told by Doctor Robert I had to stay in hospital four more nights until I got to leave. I prayed for my sanity, I could not bare the thought of spending another lonely night in that monotonous room. For the past two days I had done at least ten laps of the hospital in order to stretch my legs and keep myself occupied. Only Paul and my parents visited me yesterday, they told me everyone else was either at school or at work during visiting hours so no one could see if I had woken up.

Just before I began to loose hope and retire back to my tedious room, I heard loud running footsteps come from behind me. I peeped over my shoulder and to my surprise I saw John run down the corridor towards me, he held huge carrier bags in his hands and I could see he was struggling.

"Lucy! Lucy!" John yelled, jogging towards me.

"John!" I wailed back, beginning to cry. I've missed him so much and it was our child that I had lost. I loved that man. He dropped the bags by my feet in the middle of the hospital corridor and I fell into his arms, we embraced ourselves in a long, well-needed hug as I sobbed on his shoulder. 

"I love you." he whispered, cupping my face in his hands then kissing my forehead. 

"I love you too." I whimpered back. He pulled me into a hug again and I rested my head on his shoulder. I looked down the corridor and saw two nurses I recognised hidden around the corner staring at John and I, smiling to one another, I couldn't help but feel smug. 

"Go hug and cry in your room Miss Henderson, it's your last night in the private ward after all. The other patients do not want to be disturbed, thank you." Doctor Robert bellowed to me, suddenly appearing from a door situated down the corridor.

"Sorry." I mumbled, dragging John and his bags back into my room. "That man hates me." I said under my breath to John.

"Don't seem the nicest." he replied. Once we got into my room John placed all of his luggage on the tatty blue visitors chair and we both sat ourselves down on the bed, facing each other with our legs crossed. I spent a lot of my time staring into John's velvety brown eyes, admiring every inch of him. "I came and spoke to ye whilst ye were asleep. Did ye hear me?" I shook my head, I heard nothing whilst sleeping, it was the best rest I had in months. "Well I came and saw ye as much as I could. I was so worried, honey. They, th-they told me that, that it was a sorta miscarriage. That was our baby. You had our baby inside of you, Luce!" John squealed.

"I'm so sorry John, I'm so so sorr-" I began, tears rolling down my cheeks, remembering how angry he got at me the night I told him I was pregnant before fainting.

"Whoah, whoah, Lucy. Honey. Why are you sorry?" he said empathetically whilst rubbing away my tears. 

"I never told you I missed a period. It's my fault I got pregnant. Why did we never think of using protection? I'm so stupid. Now the baby has gone, I would have been a useless mother, look at me!" I wailed, drowning myself in my tears whilst John was trying to hush me. 

"Calm Luce, it's not yer fault. You would have been a wonderful mother. Yes, we're not exactly in the best situation, we are two silly students who aren't married, we don't have a home together and we don't have money. But y'know what we do have? Hm?" John asked, raising his eyebrows, giving me puppy eyes. "We have love! I love ye Luce, from the bottom of me heart I truly love ye. If that baby was to be born it would have two lovin' parents and that's the best thing any child could have." I leant forward and hugged John, he was right. He never had two loving parents and I could tell Mimi wasn't the loving sort, he longed for a stable and loving family. 

I was surprised at John's reaction. I had prepared myself for the worst; that he would declare he never loved me and it was purely my fault I got pregnant and I deserved to be in that hospital. I felt ashamed of myself for thinking such pessimistic thoughts about my own boyfriend and I tried to look on the bright side of things. At least I was not burdened with a child, I could continue my studies and have children when I was ready. It wasn't my fault that the child never made it, it could not be helped and I had to pull through my feeling of guilt. And now I had John by my side to help me. 

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