Heaven Is

Morse Code

Sav

I walk in the back door of Molson's grandparents house. I enter the kitchen to see my beautiful girls sitting at the table, Molson looks like she could use more sleep.

Nightmares, I'd guess.

She's had them for as long as I've known her, Rick says even as a kid she'd get them. For the past while it's been the car crash playing in her head on a constant loop, an almost endless struggle. I can't imagine being in the car while your parents die, I don't know how Molson can, she's gotta be the only strong woman left of this planet. Now with Rick being laid up at the hospital for a car crash, she's ought to be losing her mind.

Molson and May are tapping on the table in a rhythmic fashion. I walk over to them and sit at the table with them. May smiles when I sit down beside her mum, well mom to her.

"Daddy, daddy, watch." She smiles as she starts to tap the table again.

"What's that, angel?" I wonders.

"Mores code." May smiles again.

"No baby, it's Morse Code." Molson says sweetly.

"I didn't know you knew that." I say and my Molson smiles.

"My dad taught be, it started pretty basic like I love you, S.O.S, my name, and ma fleur." She explains, the last being her dad's nickname for her.  "But now, I'm really good at it."

"What did you tap?" I ask and May lights up again.

"Daddy." She smiles.

It's weird to think about being called daddy, I never actually pictured myself as a father. Like I pictured myself getting married but never thought about kids. Now that May's around, I can't stop thinking about it. May is the prefect kid, if they're all like her, I want an abundance. I'd only have more if they were with Molson.

Molson watches our daughter tap out more words, decoding them in her head as she goes. She smiles.

"You're getting really good, May Flower." Molson tells her.

"Well yeah, I learned from the best." May smiles.

"Yeah?" Molson asks.

"Yeah, Auntie Karlie." May laughs and Molson smiles.

"She's got your sense of humour, I see." I say and Molson smiles at me.

I've missed her smile, it's a smile that could brighten your day. Molson has a talent for smiling even when she's in a grave amount of pain and being strong for others. I've seen it more now than ever. Well I suppose after so much has happened you get used to putting a brave face on and dealing with the world as usual. Not everything can be hidden with that mask, in her brown eyes I can see pain.

"What's wrong?" Molson asks me, worried. I smile and shake my head.

"Nothing, just thinking." I admit and she looks at me still worried. "Don't worry."

"Okay." She says not convinced.

I am worried, worried about her. I can tell she's not sleeping, none of us have but most of us are used to late nights, we're rockstars after all. But when Molson doesn't sleep, it's because of nightmares. How does she deal with nightmares alone? She doesn't deal with them well when I'm around. Or if May gets nightmares to, how?

"Sav, what's wrong?" Molson asks again.

"I'm just worried about everything." I admit.

"Like everything with Rick?" She wonders.

"Yeah." I say and she looks deep into my eyes again.

"Liar." Molson says quietly with a slight smile. "I can see through bullshit, y'know."

"I'm just worried, okay?" I try and she shrugs.

"Okay, for now." She says looking back to May.

I put my arm around her shoulders and look at May to. She's reading off a piece of paper, filled with Molson's hand writing. A guide showing the code for each letter. May is knocking each letter over again, drilling it into her brain. We watch May, it's like she's in her own little world. Mumbling to her help like Molson does.

"Its crazy." Molson says quietly.

"What is?" I wonders.

"We made her." She says watching May carefully.

"It is but it isn't." I say and she looks back at me. "She's flawless and smart, she gotta be ours."

"If we move here, do you think she'll pick up the accent? I got bullied because of mine." Molson admits.

"She's young enough, she might. As for your accent, I still love it." I say and she smiles. "Does this mean you're thinking about moving here?" I smile.

"Thinking about it." She admits. "Would you completely against keeping my house in Canada and going back once in a while? I mean the house is paid for."

"I think it'd be a great idea, I mean it's the house you grew up in and the house that May knows." I admit. "So you're thinking about it?" I ask again and she laughs, I love her laugh.

"Yeah, I want to be a family. I'm still thinking though." Molson smiles. "But it's in the cards."

"In the cards." I say to myself.

We could be a family, I want that. I want her in my life forever. I want to marry her, I want to have more kids. I want to be this happy little fairytale family.

"If you move up here, would we get married?" I wonder and she smiles.

"Eventually, I mean that part's up to you." She's right. "But that doesn't mean you ask me to marry to right now." Molson nervously laughs, I smile.

"I know, love, just thinking." I say and she nods.

"Okay, I'm just not ready yet." Molson smiles.

"Neither am I. But this was just thrust upon us." I say with a smile, she laughs.

"You didn't push her out." Molson says laughing, I laugh to.

"Fair enough." I agree laughing.

Everything is perfect in this moment, I wish I could hold on to it forever.

Forever.

It's a long time but I wouldn't mind it if it was with Molson and May. No, I wouldn't mind at all.