Random Quotes (wave 2) *On-going*

RQ Special: Sometimes all you have to do is forget...

REPOST!!!!!!!!!

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If something has started out of nowhere. Perhaps, something has ended somehow, somewhere.

I seem to have forgotten how it was like being loved by you or how it was like loving you. Or how it was like to love at all. I seem to have forgotten everything. Everything that we once promised to last forever. How are you? Are you happy? Did you make the right choice leaving? Would it have made a difference? I don't know. Sadly, I may never know.The very last time we spoke, do you remember you asked me if there was anything else I wanted to tell you? I wanted to tell you so much. Oh God, more than you know.

I loved you, that's the truth. The moment you asked me if I had anything else to say, I wanted to tell you I love you, but I decided not to. No, you don't deserve to hear it from me anymore. I deserve to be loved without having to share my guy with anyone else. And I deserve to be loved as much as I loved you. Because no matter how many times we say we still love each other, at the end of the day I know that you would still come home to the one you really love and that's not me. You would still hold her hand and tell her all the sweet things that I could only wish to hear from you.

I will never know what went wrong, why we can't cross the other side of the fence, call it a day, and be together in the most formal sense of the word. I knew you were scared and so was I, but it wasn't as if we acted like we were just friends. We acted like a couple. We talked always, as if we were running out of time. For a few months we were actually happy. But those happy moments were short-lived. I didn't know if you got bored or you thought you were done with me already or you're just being you, whose feelings you can play with the way you played with mine, when you disappeared. You just stopped texting me in the middle of our conversation. You just tossed me aside like a badly used scratch paper for Math class, just a scratch person who happened to be there when you were in need of someone to listen to you or distract you from your issues in life.

I didn't know how to take in that news or to stop blaming myself or blaming you or blaming that girl. I didn't really know if I hated you or hated myself more because you of all people led me on and I was too dumb to fall for your trap. Most of all, I didn't know if I even had the right to get mad or feel anything at all. Because when all has been said and done, what I had was nothing anyway. I had no claim, no rights. There was never a "we" or an "us," just you and me. We didn't need closure because we haven't even opened a door. We didn't need farewells because we didn't even say hello to something. And I don't have any choice but to let this all go, let you go even if I think I deserve some sort of closure or explanation no matter how pathetic that may be. I hope she loves you more than a million and more than a billion and more than I ever could.

It seems sad, now that I look back on those times when I was just so crazy about you. Crazy about the way you told me you liked me, but never really loved me. Crazy about how you thought so little of yourself, but I was so blinded by everything that I made stupid reasons in my mind to defend your actions. Crazy about the way you told me and lied to me that you've been too hurt before that you've shunned commitments and relationships altogether, but I thought I was the game-changer so I pushed through and pushed harder. Crazy how I fell for your clichés because everything sounded too good to be true. And I was right. Crazy about how you gave me enough to keep me on my toes, but not enough to keep me standing. Crazy. I was crazy. And honestly, you were crazier and even cruel to lead me on.

So now I should say this... thank you. For letting go. For walking away. Thank you for finally giving me the freedom that I was so weak to fight for. I could never push you away, and sadly, you will never know everything that I could do for you, that I could give you. The moment you walked out on me, you gave me the right to give my love to someone else. So thank you. I just miss you.

Posted by: Arlene Riano Teleg

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