Love me or leave me here

Love me or Leave me

Jade
We sat writing but all I could think of was Perrie. Just the way she let the hair fall across her face then her soft hands should come brush it off. The way a smile crept onto her face when she thought of Lyrics. I just love it all. I love her so much it is killing me! Not telling the girls. It hurts seeing Perrie with other people. When she kisses them or holds their hand. When she tells them she loves them, what am I supposed to do watch her rip me heart out and grind it into tiny pieces? It's all to much. Watching the love of your life love someone else. It hurts. It's not to easy to avoid someone who you share an apartment with either. I need to think of something and fast.

1 month later
I'm still madly in love with Perrie Edwards. She started dating this guy named Chris a while ago. I can't stand to be around them. I want to be the one Perrie says 'I love you' to.

I was sitting with my back against the tub and the blade pressed against my wrist. I'm not good enough for her. Ugly. Fat. Disgusting. Worthless. Waste of space. These thoughts ran through my head like the Olympics. One for Perrie, two for not being enough, three for being ugly, four for being disgusting, and five for even doing this. I sat there numb by now looking at the white wall in front of me. "Jadey I'm back early, want to go do something?" Well shit she wasn't supposed to be here. The door started to open but I quickly slammed my back against it so it shut. I locked it then slid down the wall breaking into tears. "Jade please open the door" I didn't respond for a while. I could hear her talking on the phone to the other girls. Well shit I'm screwed. Semi dried blood and my tears soaked the floor. The girls would... I was cut off when I heard Jesy and Leigh's voices ringing through the flat. Why did I have to screw up?! "Jade please open the door for me" Jesy pleaded from the other side. I didn't respond. I did the next worst thing. I cut again instead. I needed to cope and the girls on the other side weren't helping. "Hey Poopey, come on talk to us. We're really worried right now. Please Jade, just come out, talk to us. please don't do anything you will regret' Leigh said the last sentence quietly. Too late for that I thought. Blood dripped from my arm. My head pounded. "Jade Amelia Thirlwall open the fucking door or we will break it down!" Jesy said with distress laced in her voice. "This isn't fair Perrie, Love me or leave me here" I whispered and let the darkness overtake me.