Unrequited ||Jaspar AU

2. Hate is a strong word

16th March

10:45am

Caspar's p.o.v
"Theo! I can't do this! The Suggs HATE me! GET IT H-A-T-E me!" I screamed at her tears trickling down my face.

"Shut up, Caspar! You have no choice!" She hissed, careful not to be to loud.

"I'm NOT LIVING WITH JOE! HE HATES ME! THEY HATE ME!! I HAVE NO ONE THEO! NOT EVEN YOU!!! YOU ARE TRYING TO KICK ME OUT! I TIRED OF THIS CRAP, OK?! IM TIRED OF LIVING!! Just let dad kill me, Theo. Please go move in with Andrew, I don't care but just don't try and sort my own stuff out for me. I don't want to hurt the Suggs anymore than I already have." I could feel my face burning with hot tears.

My fists balled up and my hair a complete mess.

I am a mess.

I expected Theo to back down and leave. I expected her to turn and run.

I was trying to save her from Dad. Mum left us a year ago with this monster. Ever since then he's abused us, he's a drug addict and alcohol addict. He's given me multiple scars and bruises. He even tried to rape Theo. What's worse is that he's a police officer. He's meant to 'protect' not hurt.

"No. Caspar. You are going to live with, Joe. Ok? Get your stuff we're leaving. NOW!" She demanded, pain visible in her pale expression.

I felt waves of anger and pain rush through my body. I felt like I wanted to scream and cry profusely. I wanted to curl up into a ball and die. I wanted everything to be the way it was when there was no drama, no problems, no stress. So, without hesitation, I collected up some stuff like my valuables and clothes, and stuffed them inside my backpack. Theo already had her stuff.

I sniffled and a few more tears fell down my face as we exited my room and headed toward the front door.

We crept out of the house making sure not to run into Dad, who was supposedly asleep. Once we reached the front door we bolted for it, running as fast and as far as we could. My heart thumped in my chest echoing through my whole body's tall but small frame. My trainers pounded against the hard concrete. My mind preoccupied by my surroundings, which were all too familiar. As we ran, a memory hit me like a brick to the face. I remembered this street for all the wrong reasons. I stopped. Suddenly it was a movie being played behind my eyes, for only me to see.

"C-CAS-CASPAR!" I heard Theo shout through my thoughts.

But everything was blurry. Except for the memory playing out before me. It was just like it was the day it happened. Every detail was perfect, I'd remembered it all. Not a thing was out of place. The horror of the situation causing a cold shiver to creep it's way down my spine.

I watched as the car Dad drove spun out of control. My sister in the passenger seat beside him and myself in the back. Theo was screaming and crying as was I. Dad, on the other hand was full of anger and rage. I looked out of my window scrambling to escape before we crashed. There I saw a family of four happy people unaware of what was coming toward them. The woman, a beautiful one with light brown hair and blue eyes looked toward the car and her face dripped in fear as she screamed causing the rest of her family to run. The teenage girl and boy ran out of sight, our car still spinning toward them, the man tried to pull the lady back and I tried to unlock the car door to help them but my seatbelt restricted me. He grabbed her hand and ran but she retaliated and before I knew what was happening our car ran smack bang into her and then into a shop window. Then the blackness engulfed me. The last thing remembered was the the two kids and man rushing up to the lady. Then as I was about to let the dark fall upon me, the boy looked at me, his bright blue eyes filled with tears and his brown hair covering his forehead. Then nothing.

I felt my body been shook.

I crippled to the ground in tears.

"Caspar? Caspar! What's wrong?" Theo's worried voice rung.

"I- Jo-Joe. Can't. Ne-ed... AGGHHHHH!!" I scrambled for words but I couldn't speak through my panic.

My heart raced and my breath became quick and sharp.

"It's ok, Caspar, I'm here. It's ok." Theo soothed, rubbing circles on my back.

I managed to reduce my panic to nothing but a few tears.

"Take some deep breaths, Cas." She cooed.

We were lucky that this street isn't usually very busy.

I focused on a leaf that rested on the concrete. It was a simple leaf, discoloured and dried up, like most at this time of year. It's shape, a perfect oval with a small point at the top and stalk at the bottom.

This helped me control my breath, taking in the features of the leaf. The way it looked so alone on the concrete not another leaf around for a good 15 meters, the way it almost stood out from the others but I couldn't quite figure out why it was different.

The only noise audible was the soft howls of the wind, that brushed against my wet,  cheek. There was a clear scent of coffee coming from the cafe around the corner, it was so strong, I could almost taste it.

"That's it. Now, you wanna talk about it?" She continued after a couple minutes

I shook my head and looked into her beautiful green orbs.

"Ok, well let's get going." She smiled weakly and stood up, offering my a hand to help me up.

I ignored her offer and picked myself up. I then picked up the leaf and held it for a minute. Just taking in its features one more time, before holding it up and letting it blow away in the wind. I watched as it drifted along in the slight breeze.

"Cas, we really have to go. Come on! We have to get to Andrew's!" She grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me along behind her.

I wriggled my wrist out of her grasp and walked slightly behind her, head down, not a word.

Just keep going, Caspar. Do this for Theo.

I sighed and kept going.

At least things could be worse...