Unrequited ||Jaspar AU

6. Tegan

20th March

12:35am

Caspar's p.o.v
Just three days...

Three days.

It's been three days.

Three days since I last saw his face.

Ive felt so lost these past three days. All I've done is sleep and stare out the window, losing myself in my thoughts. I haven't eaten at all, I didn't even feel hungry. To be honest I couldn't have cared less. Theo and Andrew keep tying to help me. They don't get it. I don't want help. I just want to be alone.

You don't care about Joseph Sugg.

I hate him.

As if I actually care about him.

So do I keep trying ring and text him.

He hasn't answered.

I've tried to ring him at least 10 times now. I've seen him multiple texts and emails. Still nothing. I tried ringing Zoe and Alfie as well.

Great now they hate me more don't they...

I saw Joe's cuts.

I did that. I'm the reason he did that.

I'm killing him, inside and out.

I couldn't care any less about him.

So, why can't I stop thinking about him?

His eyes, his voice, his smile.... Him.

But I hate him, I hate him, hate him.

I looked over toward my bedside table where my phone lie, lifeless. I grabbed it and went to my contacts. I scrolled through all of them and finally my finger hovered over his name.

Why am I even bothering?

I tapped it and it began to ring. Holding it to my ear, I silently prayed deep down that he would answer.

Ring!

1 ring

Ring!

2 rings

Ring!

3 rings

Ring!

4 rings

Oh please answer! Please?

Ri-

"The person your trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone."

My heart dropped.

"Hey, it's me again. Please pick up. I need someone, please?! I'm sorry, I need you. Joe, if your getting this, please, I'm begging you to pick up your phone. I said the wrong thing. I want us to be friends. Call back? Bye." I mumbled begging he would respond.

I threw my phone onto the floor beside the bed.

"WHY?!?" I screamed in pure frustration.

Because he hates you, Caspar. You rejected him and now he hates you even more. Way to fuck up, Caspy.

"SHUT UP! YOUR TALKING SHIT!" I yelled again, thrashing about as a wave of fear collapsed on top of me.

What if the voices are right? It is my fault, because I rejected him. What if that's why he won't respond?