Unrequited ||Jaspar AU

4. How?

Warning: violence is included in this chapter. If your not ok with of that than please skip this chapter. All you really need to know is there's a fight.

Ok, hope you enjoy!

Love you guys so much! :)
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17th March

9:50

Caspar's p.o.v
Joe instantly froze as the words left my mouth. I felt physically sick to the stomach.

Why did I just blurt that all out?

Then he mumbled something I think he didn't meant to mumble. Something that had he caught in his own thoughts, trapped inside his own mind. It's breaking him, I can see it.

"I broke Caspar Lee..." He mumbled so quietly and his eyes filled with an emotion I've never seen a person wear.

He did break me.

As much as I didn't want it to be true, he broke me.

He is the one I think about every night and everyday. Almost every second to be honest, because without his help, without him I wouldn't be alive. I would have been stuck in that car longer and I would have died from the impact and being hunched over for that long. It would collapse my lungs.

But somehow, even knowing this, I could feel my blood boiling. My anger clearly visible on my face. It took Theo one glance at me, to know what was going through my mind. In the corner of my eye I saw her shake her head rapidly, panic washing over her. She knew what was coming.

"Caspar...please don't-" Theo began.

"No." I snarled at her.

I watched as Theo gave Zoe and Alfie a look and they both nodded in response.

"Mate, it's ok. Come on, let Joe sort himself out..." Alfie tried to say, his voice cracking slightly.

He grabbed my arm and I instantly shoved him off sending him flying backwards, hitting the tiled floor with a hard thud. Zoe rushed to his aid.

Good. They can't do anything now, Caspar. You know you want to hurt Joe. How could he Balme this all on you? He blamed you for all of this, he thinks you caused all this drama. Just finish him now... Oh Caspar, Caspar, Caspar. You can't fight us now. We are so much stronger than you now. Just do it, come on. You know you want to.

The voices, demons in my head controlled my body. I felt my feet move without my approval. They carried me past a petrified Theo and a crying Zoe, helping her pathetic boyfriend. I continued in a mad rage. I wasn't mad at Joe... Well I was, but not this mad. The voices they.... They trapped me in my own mind. All I can hear is their demanding cries ringing through my ears constantly. I wanted to scream, I wanted them to disappear, I wanted to be free.

Tut, tut, tut. Caspar, you can't escape us. Not now.

I let a silent tear fall as I stomped up the stairs reaching Joe. He crippled to my feet and he began to cry.

Pathetic.

Some of me was telling me to stop to hug him and comfort him, telling him it's all alright. The other wanted to turn him into pulped orange juice. But the voices were stronger, forcing me to pick a side. The side of me I wished had never of existed.

"So this is all my fault?" I question him angrily.

Yes! Yes, Caspar that's it. Tell him, show him what he did to you... To us. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

"P-please, Caspar. I didn't mean to-" his tears soaking his shirt.

"SHUT UP, JOE!" I hissed.

Without me giving any approval, my hand forcefully slapped him across the face.

He screamed out in pain, clutching his face.

I began to tear up.

I just hit Joe.

I actually hit him.

He saved my life,

And I just hurt him.

Do it again. Harder, Do it Caspar. You have the power, look at him. How pathetic.

The voices were now screaming at me.

He was curled up on the stair he'd fallen on, drenched in his own tears, his face already bruising.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. JUST GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO HURT, JOE!" I screamed back at the voices, covering my ears and crying.

I stumbled backwards, tripping and landing on my back on the hard tiled floor.

Yes, yes you do Caspar. Listen to us. We are always right.

"NO YOUR NOT!!" I scream again, causing Theo, Zoe and Alfie to stare at me in confusion.

Joe was still a crying mess on the stairs. No one dare go near me, therefore they weren't able to get to Joe. It's like they were scared of me. Even my own sister was scared of me. I'm turning into a monster.

I'm turning into my father.

Oh god help me,

Please?

Just once more, one more and we will leave you alone... We promise.

I sat up and looked at the helpless brunette boy, his body curled up and his violent sobs audible as he lay on the stairs.

"I CANT!" I felt pain creep into me.

Because your weak, Caspar. That's why we are here. We make you stronger.

"I'm, I'm, not w-weak. I just can't h-hurt him anymore..." I cried.

Whatever, Caspar. It will be worse next time. That's a grantee...

They slowly disappeared, fading away. but I knew that they weren't gone forever. they were still there.

I felt hands drag me back. It was Theo, of course. She started telling me off, but I blocked her rants out. I could hear only Joe's painful shrikes and whimpers. Zoe and Alfie running to his side. Zoe's makeup was running down her cheeks.

What have I done?

I could tell by the tingling feeling inside of my fingers and hand, that I'd hit him really hard.

"He's bleeding. Alfie! get some bandages!" Zoe gasped in fear for her brother.

He's bleeding. I made him bleed.

Oh Joe, how can you ever forgive me now?