Unrequited ||Jaspar AU

7. Downhill from there

Warning: Panic attack/ anxiety attack in this chapter, if your not comfortable with that then skip. Remember stay safe my lovelies! Xx
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20th March

5:00

Joe's p.o.v
The feel of her hand in mine made me want to cringe. Her hands were massive and all of the jewellery on her fingers keep scraping against my skin. I looked down toward our hands and saw the red marks it was leaving.

"I'm Joe's new girlfriend." She chirped.

I wish you weren't my girlfriend. I don't know why I even bothered.

I felt Zoe's eyes stabbing through me as I looked toward the ground. Tegan obviously noticed and squeezed my hand tightly, feeling her tense beside me.

"C-come in." Caspar mumbled and Tegan tugged on my hand.

I followed, head down.

I knew Zoe would question me about this... No doubt.

We approached Oli and the rest of the group. Jim, Tanya, Marcus, Dan, Phil, Niomi and Tyler we all sitting around the lounge room chatting away. Music played in the background and drinks were set up on a table.

"Joe, let's go get a drink babe." Tegan whispered in my ear and it made me feel sick to the stomach.

"O-ok." I mumbled in hesitation, but Tegan didn't think anything of it.

She tugged me off toward the drinks and I felt uneasy and scared. I felt really insecure and weak. I felt trapped and lonely despite the amount of energy in the room.

"Uh Tegan, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I-I'll um be back in a minute." I shoved a fake smile onto my lips.

"Of course, babe."

I wish she would stop calling me 'babe'. I don't like her, I mean she's pretty and skinny and stuff but I just didn't feel very into girls especially not Tegan.

I spun on my heal and thoughts covered my mind, I'm pretty sure I almost burst out into right then and there. I moved through everybody, weaving between the bodies in this small room. I felt my chest closing and fear creep into me, my anxiety was back. As soon as I'd managed to struggle through the small crowd, I dashed toward the bathroom, swiftly locking the door behind me.

My body began to shake, my chest hurt, my breathing shortened, tears freely falling down my face.

I collapsed onto the ground and the attack got worse.

"Joe?" A familiar spoke through the door.

I didn't respond, I knew who it was.

"Joe, open up. Please. Joe!" They persisted, the door now being wobbled by their strength as they pushed against it.

No, I'm not going to.

My attack was getting worse. It was clouding my brain with blackness. My vision now fuzzed by my own tears.

"Joe! I'm coming in!" They yelled.

I could hear the music blaring in the background, but it slowly faded and the only thing I could hear was the door being thrashed.