Everything I Didn't Say

Chapter 22

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*Luke's POV*

"Fuck!" I scream at this top of my lungs, kicking things around in my room. My head shoots with pain from my hang over.

I grab my Ipod and hook it up to it's cords, making the music play loud. Like really loud. I had her but I lost her that quick. I'm so fucking stupid. Stupid for everything. If I could've just been myself from the start, maybe we could be better than this. All I can say is that I'm stupid. There are no excuses.

*Adeline's POV*

I find myself in my room, alone. My makeup stains my face from crying all night. The penguin that Luke had gave me found itself on the other side of my room away from me. The pain in my heart is too much to bear right now.

I sniffle, standing up from my bed to get to my closet. The big brown box was still up there in on the top shelf. This time he wont get away with this. Funny, the box feels lighter than when I last touched it. When I open the first flap, I don't see my purple graduation cap, or any of my photo albums.

More importantly, I don't see the graduation picture when Luke stepped on my foot. My stomach churns as more tears, tears I didn't think I had anymore, wheal up.

I let out a scream of all my emotions. What has he done to me? He fucking wrecked me. The worst part is, I still love him.

"Addy? What's wrong?" Caleb questions, a concerned look on his face.

"Luke! That's what!" I cry. "I love him, Caleb. I love him, but he doesn't care about me! He never did! And now I can't stop crying over his pathetic self. And I'm scared to stop crying, because I don't want to stop loving him."

*Luke's POV*

"I really screwed up this time. Its worse than high school." I tell the guys. They all quietly look at me, letting me talk out my feelings.

"Talk to her about it." Calum offers.

"Are you stupid? I cant do that. She told me to never talk to her again. I'm pretty sure she meant it too."

"We're just trying to help, mate. We're not the ones who screwed up again." Ashton shrugs.

I sigh. Somehow I find tears falling out of my eyes. Tears that I don't care to stop. I sniffle, without a word walk to the kitchen. Anywhere where they cant see me cry. I sink down to the floor, wishing I could take everything back.

Adeline is my world. The only thing that keeps my heart beating, that keeps me breathing. Without her I'm done. I'm sure she'd like it that way anyways.

I stand up, wiping my face with my sleeve.

*Adeline's POV*

I've never been up here in the daylight. It view looks beautiful. The way the sun sets. I bet Luke would love to watch the sun go down with me. No I would love to watch the sun go down with Luke. Not the other way around.

Suddenly, hands appear on the edge of the roof, revealing Luke pulling himself up. "I thought you'd be up here."

"I don't want you here. Go away."

"What are you going to do? Shove me off the roof."

"If I didn't love you I would."

Luke's face softens. "You love me?"

"It doesn't matter now. I should've fallen for you. I knew it was wrong from the start, but I thought you would prove me wrong." We stay in a uncomfortable silence so I say what's on my mind. "Did you take it?'

"Take what?"

"Don't play dumb. Did you take the things out of my box?"

He puts his head down, sighing. "I didn't want you to tell people. I don't want people to know how much of a bad person I am."

"I don't think you deserve that. You don't deserve to be happy when every one else around you is suffering." I groan, jumping down from my once safe spot.

*Luke's POV*

Anger mixes with my sadness at Adeline's words. "You think I'm happy? You think I'm satisfied with myself that I've done this to you? You know I came up here to apologize to you and maybe fix this, but I'm not going to waste my time."

"Lu-"

"Think about what your about to say." I spat and leave yet again. I didn't mean for it to turn out ugly like that, but she shouldn't jump to conclusions based on our past.

Once I get home, I sit on my porch, hoping that maybe by some miracle, she'll come over. Until then, I let the tears engulf me again.

*Adeline's POV*

After I climb back through my window, I fall on my bed. Letting the tears wash away any sanity I have left. The words Luke once told me about the penguin swarm through my mind. I take the large stuffed animal in my arms, taking in the scent that consumed Luke.

I imagine his strong warm arms, wrapping around my body. My chest pressed to his. How did we end up here? How did I go from point out hating him, to loving him so bad I hate him?

He's the solution to al of my madness and always will be.