Everything I Didn't Say

Chapter 23

...

More time goes by as I sit alone in my room. I haven't left my bed in about two days, and it's killing me. I'd love to go and hang out with Calum and Michael, and even though we aren't really that close, Ashton. The penguin still lays in my arms as we speak and I cant stop thinking about Luke. I wonder how upset he is with himself. I wonder if he cares that he broke my heart. Was that his plan all along? To act like he loved me, wait until I gave myself to him, and then leave me? Alone and broken?

"Adeline dear, I've got your breakfast ready. Do you want to eat?" Mum comes in my room with concerned eyes. I shake my head, not saying a word. "Oh I wish you would tell me what's wrong. I can help you know."

"No, ma. You can't. Nobody can. Please leave me alone." I respond, my voice barely above a whisper because I was afraid of crying again.

"I'm here if you need me. Go talk to Luke. I know you guys have gotten very close here lately." I sadly smiles before leaving again.

The fluids flow out of my eyes again at the mention of his name. If only she knew that he was the cause to all of this. I don't want to do without his large hands against mine. I don't want to go without his warm breath against my neck when he wraps me tightly at night, making me feel safe and protected and warm. Most importantly, I don't want to go without his love. I can't.

~xx~

I finally get out of my bed for like a split second today. It was only because I had to eat something. My phone buzzes beside me, and the screen light up with Calum's name. "Hello?" I answer.

"Whatcha doing?" He asks.

"I'm in bed, why?"

"Can I come over? I haven't seen you in a while."

I sigh before saying, "I guess. I'll see you later."

I'm gathering that he was over at Luke's house because it only took him about two seconds to get here. "Hey." He sadly smiles walking into my room.

"Hi." I reply, almost breaking down in tear from the scent he carried from Luke's place.

"Don't cry. Come here." Calum sits on my bed, pulling me into a hug.

"I can't stop, Cal. It hurts so bad to know that he thinks all those awful things about me. I haven't been able to stop crying for the past two days." I sob, laying his head on my shoulder.

"He hasn't either." He says quietly.

"What's he doing right now?" I hesitantly ask.

"Sleeping last time I checked. Last night he cried himself to sleep, then woke up crying; probably dreaming of you."

My heart shatters even more if that was even possible. To know he was as broken as me hurts, I wanted to go over there right now and lay next to him, telling him that he doesn't have to hurt anymore. But I knew I couldn't, and that hurt more.

"He really loves you, Ad." He adds.

I shake my head, pulling up from his shoulder. "If he did then why did he say that stuff about me?"

"He was drunk."

"Michael said that true feelings come out when a person's drunk. That's his true feelings about me." I sniffle.

"Michael doesn't know shit. He just says random things that doesn't make since. That's him. You shouldn't listen to his love advice."

I sigh and sit there for a moment not responding, not knowing who I should believe. "You know I knew that hickey was from another girl. I didn't say anything because I knew we weren't a thing, but it still hurt. I let it go the moment he told me he loved me, because I felt he was all mine. I never said it back to him cause I didn't know I loved him back. That is until I lost him." I cry again.

"I believe that what you guys have is real. You'll be brought back together if you all care enough. I better be getting back to Luke before he wakes up. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

I nod, wrapping my hands around Cal's neck. "Thank you, Cal. Your such a great friend. I've never had one of those before."

He delicately brushes his thumb over my cheek, wiping away tears. "You got three of those things now." He laughs. "The forth one is much more than a friends, just remember that." He smiles and leaves me alone again.

I know love Luke know. I just wished I would've realized it sooner