Oh, Hey

Chapter 10

Cas's POV:

As we left the diner, I hopped into the front passenger side of the Impala. Dean and I laughed and talked in the car as we drove along the road. The radio was blaring and we had ours windows down. Air blew freely through the interior of the impala.

Suddenly a song came on the radio. A powerful yet gentle voice sang.

Carry on my wayward son

There'll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don't you cry no more

Dean was quiet as he murmured the words to the song. His eyes were glassy. He looked add of his head were somewhere else.

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion

I was soarin ever higher,

But I flew too high

Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think, I still was a mad man

I hear the voices when I'm dreaming

I can hear them say

Dean continued to mouth the words. A tear looked as if it were about to spoil over his water line.

Carry on my wayward son

There'll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Dont you cry no more

A small tear ran down Dean's cheek and feel into his shirt. As the song continued on, more tears streaked both sides of his face. I leaned over and swiped my thumb under his eyes to wipe the tears away. Once the song was over, Dean looked down and then quickly put his eyes back on the road.

"Dean.... Are you alright?"

"y-yeah... Im fine." Dean responded, stumbling over his words.

"Then why were you crying?" I asked quietly. He sighed and longed over at me.

"That song... It really just... Pinpoints Sam and I's life. The song is literally about us... And it's just hard to deal with because I want better for us... Especially Sammy..."

"I understand." I said as I leaned over and kissed Dean's cheek. He had a disappointed look on his face. He gave a sad smile and chuckle.

"Ya know, Sam wants to be a lawyer... He wants to go to Stanford.... And.... I can't give it to him..." Dean said as his voice cracked with emotion. He rubbed his eyes to keep a stray tear from falling.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say... I didn't know how to comfort Dean. I felt so bad because I knew, it was probably True. Neither Dean or Sam had money saved up for college, much less law school. It was a long shot to say Sam would be able to go to college, earn degrees, and be a successful lawyer.

...

Dean's POV:

I felt a broken feel pang inside of me. It kept hitting me where it hurt. I want food enough... Not for Sammy, Cas, anyone. I was a disappointment. My father left heavy imprints on me... And I can't let go. The scars on my body reminded me of that everyday. The pain I went through with that son of a bitch.

When we got home, I ran to the bathroom. I locked my self in, and brought out my old friend. I quickly sliced my arm. Blood stained the sink, as I ran water over the fresh wounds. Once I stopped bleeding, I sat on the floor. I pulled out a lighter and a cigarette. Smoke filled the bathroom. A sudden bang hit the door.

"Dean... Please don't do this to yourself." Cas plead from the other side of the door. I reluctantly ignored the words that the boy was saying. Soon Cas left and finished the cigarette. I put it out and walked out of the bathroom. A note was on the table.

Dean, I went for a walk. I hope you'll be feeling better once I come back. Love, Cas.

I felt another tear, rolled down my face and onto the little note. I grabbed the note and crumbled it in frustration. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. I sobbed out to the lonely house.

"I'm not good enough." I whispered through breathless cries.