They Love It More When Its Broken~ P.S

Chapter 11- I'm A Clique In A Song

Slightly triggering!!

Jess POV;

I can't take it anymore, everything was getting to me, the text messages had gotten hurtful and scary and giving up was my number one priority and soon that'd be ticked off and done. Anyway, it'd be a weight off everyone's shoulders, they'd have no worries and be able to tour happily and carefree without me.

When Meagan had gone downstairs to get the guys from the pub and make sure they weren't too drunk, Andy was down there watching them and not drinking, as usual, he was probably drinking orange juice or something, but Meagan had gone down to basically tell them it was bedtime.

Tomorrow is the last day of the UK tour and they're playing in Newcastle, I won't be there to watch, I'll be gone by tomorrow.

The British rain hammers against the hotel room window, the sky is black as it's nearly 11pm and you can hear the slight wirr of cars on the main road right outside.

I unzip my backpack and pull out my makeup bag, carrying it into the pristeam White bathroom, it's that clean it may as well be sparkling. I take in a sharp breath and close the bathroom door. I place the pink flowery bag down next to the sink and unzip it, digging to the bottom with my small fingers.

I pull out a sharp, shiny small blade and place it down as I turn the hot tap on and plug the sink plug in. Hot water fills up and lands in the small white sink. When it's full, almost overflowing, I turn the tap off and pick up the blade. I place it on my arm and see scars, that tell me I'm weak, worthless, vulnerable, I cut over them, making more reasons to die. Blood starts to drip out and down my arm, onto the floor. I place my slashed wrists under the boiling water, wincing at the slight pain that was somehow, refreshing. I take in a sharp breath that was staggered.

The water, that was once translucent, was now red and misty. My vision started to blur and I felt myself toppling over and falling hard on the floor in the small puddle of blood and water from the sink.

Tomorrow is the last day of the UK tour and they're gonna be in Newcastle, I won't be here for it, they'll be happy and they'll stress free when I'm gone.

I here a familiar knock on the door but I'm fading away fast, the knock changes into someone smashing the door down as my eyes turn to darkness, the last I hear is Patrick's voice and I'm fearing death, even if it's what I want.

'Jess, stay with me, don't go, Jess wake up!'

---

'Jess wake up!' Someone shouts, I shoot up, my breathing staggered, I place a hand to my chest and take in some sharp breaths.

'You were having a nightmare.' Whispers Patrick.

'Oh, I-.'

'It's okay.' Soothes Patrick. 'I'll make you some water.' He gets up and walks to the tap, filling up a small glass of cold water and bringing it back over to the bed.

'Thank you,' I barley manage, taking a small sip, enough to take away the dry feeling on my tongue and in my mouth.

'Are you having bad dreams because of someone?' Patrick asks, still standing by my bed, I sit, shocked. What if he knows?

How would he know?

'What? No.' I say, my heart was beating pretty fast by this stage and I got the feeling like it was going to literally shoot out my mouth.

'Please talk to me.' Begs Patrick.

'I'm tired, I'll talk tomorrow.' I say, pulling the covers over me, placing the drink down and laying down, I wouldn't be able to sleep so I just laid there, staring the opposite way to Patrick, who was back in his bed. He wasn't sleeping, it was obvious, I could hear him shuffling around and he kept sighing.

I sit up and look at Patrick's bed. 'Can you sing to me?'

'Yes, sure.' He says, pushing himself out of bed and climbing into mine, pulling me close to him, I lay on his chest, listening to his heart beat and feeling his chest rise, up and down, up, down in a reoccurring pattern.

'Patrick, what day is it?' I ask, the dream kind of confused me about the date and time.

'It's 3am the night after our first concert in the UK.' He whispers, his voice soothing me.

'What song do you want me to sing?' He asks.

'Any.' I whisper, feeling a slight pang in my chest from actually being so close to Patrick.

'Okay.' He breathes, taking a moment before he starts singing.

'I got your picture I'm coming with you, dear Maria count me in,' he starts.

There's a story at the bottom of this bottle,
And I'm the pen.

When the lights go up,
I want to watch the way you take the stage by storm

The way you wrap those boys around your finger,
Go on and play the leader
'Cause you know it's what you're good at;
The low road for the fast track
Make every second last.

/-\

soooo, I haven't updated in a while because school and stuff but I have a week off so I'll be planning chapters and maybe I'll publish a sneaky chapter 12 sometime this week... Look out for that ;)

Okay, you have probably guessed, it's like 11pm or something on a Thursday night and I'm listening to music, I swear, I fricking love the song 'c'mon' by panic! At the disco (ft; fun) it's such a good song oml!!!!

-Keep Smiling Pineapples ((cheesy much))

-C A I T L I N