Surviving

Chapter 12

*Jessica's POV (she is a fan)*





I sit on my bed sobbing my heart out. They are gone. The plane crashed.


It feels like half my life has just been torn away from me. And now I am just fighting to hold in my tears and emotions.


This is just.....I can't explain; so hard. I can't take it.


I feel like I am crashing from a skyscraper and at the bottom I hit the ground but don't die, I have to suffer more and fall again.


I have been sitting here in my room for ages. I haven't been going to school or eaten anything and everyone is starting to worry about me, but they will never understand. They will never understand how five boys: a band managed to change my life and how much they mean to me.


I feel like no one understands me.


All everyone does is pity me but they don't try helping me.


I weep more just thinking that they could of died. No.


They didn't, they are still alive and just on some island trying to survive. They are not dead. I refuse to believe that they are.


I look out my window through my blurry eyes. Nothing, everything is grey. The birds don't sing, the trees don't sway in the wind like they usually do. Everything has just paused as if wanting me to suffer longer and so it will never end.


The media are always talking about how 'One Direction are missing' but they don't think of them as people. They don't understand how much they mean to us. Everyone thinks they are just another band, that we will get over with.


I feel like my heart has just been crushed and cut into a million pieces.


My lungs are collapsing and I can't breath, they are burning under the unbearable pain.


Tears stream down my already sticky, tear stained face.


I whimper as I stand up. My legs are weak and numb and it is hard to stand.


I need to do something. Help find the boys. Save them. Do something with my life.


I slide my laptop from under my bookcase and log in. It takes a few minutes and finally the screen lights up indicating it is ready to use. I sigh and search up 'Find One Direction.' Thousands of sites come up. I click on the first one.


I quickly read everything taking in every detail. A tear rolls down my cheek as I continue reading through the website.


I spot a link a bit further down and immediately click on it. A charity is there and I straight away put in money, not thinking twice of the deed.


It says people, more accurately: directioners are searching everywhere and are looking in every country in every house nearby, even the war-zones risking there lives to find 1D. We are looking for them in helicopters if they are still miraculously still swimming in the sea or on a raft.


'If anyone wants to help and be involved in the big search, please do. We need more people to help find them and as quick as possible.' I breath in, while trying to make a decision. Sitting in this awkward position for a few minutes with my hands holding my head which is in deep thought I finally say yes, I will. Even if my parents don't want me to go I will somehow sneak out in the middle of the night to help.


I walk down stairs. Butterfly's suddenly start to swarm up in my tummy. I shouldn't be worried but secretly I still am. I shove the thought to the back of my mind and carry on.


Eventually I get to the living room where my parents are watching T.V. I take in a deep breath, quickly thinking of what I am going to say and pull the handle to open the door, walking in.


My mum and dad turn their heads to face me and switch off the television.


"Come, sit down Jessica," my mum tells me gently. I walk up to the couch opposite her and my dad and sit down, looking around the room awkwardly.


They stare at me and sigh,"so do you want to get something to eat, you look really thin and hungry."


"Yeah," I reply quietly and take an apple from the fruit bowl on the coffee table in front of me.


I take a big bite of the apple and chew on it slowly, my mum and dad look at me sadly as I gulp finishing the last bit of the fruit in my hands.


After a long time I look up and tell them how I want to go and help find Niall, Louis Liam, Zayn and Harry by flying to some country to look for them, doing searches through oceans or just anything to help. It takes a long time to explain everything as they don't understand how desperate I am to find then.


"Please," I beg again looking into the eyes of my parents.


"No, I don't want you risking your life just to find this boyband that you really like right now but will get other with soon," My Mum tells me. I breath out in shock as they say that I will get over them soon which is definitely not true.


"We need to find them though, they need help, they are in trouble right now and I can't be normal unless I know where they are and if they are safe. They could be anywhere, d-dying" I stutter out the end.


My parents grunt, still not satisfied with my reasons, why I should go and help.


"You still can't go. It is dangerous and you are going to regret it later. Your obsession is unhealthy, I never though it was going to be this bad." My Dad says muttering the last bit and walks out the room with my Mum close behind not even letting me respond.


"None of you understand me! No one understands!" I scream and run upstairs slamming the door behind me.


I run to my bed and jump onto it crying. I need to help find them. This is something I must do. I will feel guilty for ever if I don't and they need help. They are probably somewhere praying for someone to find them



-



I pretend to go to sleep so I can pack and go to the airport where the group are going to be waiting to go search. The tickets were free because they came from money from the charity.


Once I hear light snores coming from my parents room, I quietly get out of bed and take the bags that I have packed from under my bed. I have a few clothes my toothbrush and all that stuff which is necessary in my bag. I didn't want to pack too much, or I would be heard going out.


I check I have my phone and money and get prepared to go. I quietly creep down the stairs luckily not being heard; the floorboards are very squeaky.


I check myself in the mirror before walking out the door. My shoulder length blonde hair is straightened and I am not wearing any makeup because I am in such a hurry to get out that I don't have enough time to put any on, plus it is dark and it would be a big risk to turn on the light because my Mum and Dad would notice.


I quietly open the front door and walk out. The cold wind hits me unexpectedly making me shiver. I take my phone out and dial for a taxi to come pick me up a bit further down the street so I can get to the airport.


I wobble to the place where the taxi is going to pick me up. I stand around freezing; hugging myself for warmth.


Finally, in what feels like hours, but was probably only ten minutes the cab comes. I clench onto my bag and open the door sitting down.


The journey was quite and awkward. Soon we drive up to the big building. I pay my fee to the driver and start walking up to the entrance of the airport.


Lots of people scurry around the busy place. Even at this time of night the airport is full. I look around trying to find the group I am going to be traveling with and spot them holding a sign saying 'Help find 1D, please come here: Lucy, Emma, Jessica and Gabby.' I smile and make my way to them.


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I don't know, I think this chapter was okay. I worked really hard to get it this long and it to have some emotion into it. Yeah....

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