My Prison Called Life (Bio 1)

Chapter 7: The Beginning Of Hell

After mom had her surgery she was a lot different. She would be bitchy she would take all her anger out on me. One time I broke a plate and I didn't hear the end of it from her. She kept bringing up my past and saying how she wished she never had me. One time I was so upset that I said I was going to kill myself.

But she didn't try to stop me she taught me how to do that. What kind of mother teaches their kid to kill themselves. That's messed up. Finally the fights got so bad that I had to go to the mental hospital. My mom had to call the cops on me and they baker acted me. For those who don't know what that is.
It's where you have to go to a mental hospital to get better but the cops take you there and you get put in handcuffs.

Let me tell you those things hurt like a Bitch. So finally when they let me go and I stayed at the hospital I couldn't help but feel alone and abandoned. Because I was hoping my mother loved me and wouldn't do this to me but boy was I wrong.

When I woke up because my mom has this weird habit on starting fights at night. Well when I woke up I was made to get up at 6:00am in the morning so they could check my vitals. They did and then they also took my shoe laces so it was hard walking in my shoes. They looked through all of my clothes before they let me have them.

They gave me this bin that has stuff I would need. They gave me a tiny toothbrush, a teeth comb, deodorant (if you could call it that there wasn't much deodorant in it. You know how when you use up your deodorant until you get to the end? That's all they gave me and it was clear.) Well since there wasn't much of it I smelled bad I hated it! I felt like a prisoner all they did was treat us like shit.

They always fed us to keep us sleepy we would eat five meals a day. Then they kept us medicated all the time. The beds that we slept on were just mats that they have at the high school when the wrestling team would use them. So pretty much they made you look like shit. They locked you up in your room too. They wouldn't let you go outside.
I hated it there. I even got hit on I was waiting in line to eat.

When I backed up a little and this one guy put both his hands on my ass. I gave him a dirty look and he raised up his hands in defense. 'Hey I was just trying to stop you from bumping into me is all,' he said to me. I said this. 'Well if you wanted to stop me you could have touched my back to let me know instead of my ass,' I said. All the guy did was smirk.

I just wanted to get out of there finally I did six days later. I looked like shit and I gained weight. I didn't want to go back there ever again. But I ended up going there a few times for the past three years thanks to my mom! I felt helpless and I felt like I was going insane. I wanted to get the hell away from my mom. But every time I tried? I got brought back to her.

I wanted to move out so badly but I didn't know where to go and how to get money since my mom has control of my social security money. I hated it I wish I didn't have to depend on her. That's how she raised me. I couldn't do any adult things without looking at her. To confirm what I was saying to the docs. They saw that, one of my therapists told me my mom was controlling towards me.

I felt like a prisoner I didn't want to do anything all I wanted to do was hide. I would hide in my corner and try to be invisible as much as possible. I even would watch anime and I would get jealous of the characters. Because they were doing something with their lives. I wanted the same thing more than anything.

I got tired of living the life I had. I got tired of being depressed and staying at a mental hospital. But since I lost my social security money because they didn't think I was disabled. My mom got worse. I wanted to scream I got tired of her yelling at me. One time while I was on the computer my brother got mad at me. He wanted a turn.

Instead of waiting for me to do what I was doing and then get off. He started hitting me. He beat me so badly that I was covered in bruises. My brother didn't get hurt much he only got scratches on his back. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran out of the house without my shoes I was only wearing my socks. I couldn't stop crying.

I walked over to Kayley's house and waited for her to come back home from school. She did I ran over to her and threw my arms around her and I started to cry. She held me and rubbed my back and told me it was going to be ok. After everything I said to her on what happened.

She hated my mom on what she was doing to me. She let me inside and let me stay there. So did her dad apparently he cared about me and thought of me. As one of his own kids. It made me really happy. I owe them so much for everything they have done for me.

It was my second day staying at Kayley's house and my mom calls Kayley's number. I knew it was going to be a matter of time before she would try to get a hold of me. She wanted me to come back and I refused to come back. My mom even threatened to throw all of my stuff out. I knew she was bluffing so I dared her to go ahead and do it.

She told me she did and I knew she didn't. I hung up on her and she always tried to get a hold of me. So finally I couldn't take it anymore. So I called the cops and asked if they would help me get my clothes along with my ID and other stuff I needed. So when we went there just me and Kayley's dad my mom tried to start shit with me. While we were waiting for the police to come here.

She was saying how I was a slut and that I was sleeping with Kayley's dad. Which wasn't true! He was like a dad to me I wouldn't do that! I mean I was still a virgin for fucks sake! (Yes I'm not afraid to use the V word deal with it :p ) Well finally the police came there and of course mom started shit. She pointed out all the marks I put on her precious son when I was trying to defend myself!

The cops didn't say anything finally I got everything ready to leave that place for good. But of course my mom lied to the police and told them she had guardianship over me. Which wasn't true! She lied to them about that. But the fucking cops didn't even bother to see that she was lying. They believed her and I got sent to the mental hospital again!

My mom tried to talk to me because I clawed the fuck out of my arms. Because I didn't want to hurt anyone and I wanted to feel the pain. I still have the scars on my arms and I don't hide them. Because I'm not ashamed of my scars. They are a reminder on how I survived that hellhole. Well I threw a fit and yelled at her to stay away from me.
I even broke the cross necklace I've had since I was three years old. I threw it at my mom.