My Prison Called Life (Bio 1)

Chapter 8: Close To Giving Up And Just Going With The Flow

After I did that my mom got surprised. I didn't care I wanted out I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to just give up and die I wished I was never born. I wished I had a smart brain like everyone else. I wanted to be free. Finally my mom left and I had to stay there for a week.

Well during this one time that I was there I was sitting in the "living room" that they have. I was just watching tv when all of a sudden. I hear the fire alarm go off. It scared the shit out of me. The guy who did it was pretending to be insane. He said he hit it with his elbow and it went off. Which can't happen because it was the pull and push one.

Then we had to do these group things. Where you had to write how you were feeling. Then write what you did and then what you plan on doing the next day. I didn't want to do it but they made us because if we didn't do it then we would have to stay longer. I couldn't check myself out because I was baker acted.

Who knew that some places can hold you against your will. Finally I got out and as soon as I got out my mom decided to go off on me. I kid you not! As soon as I got home she bitched at me. So when she put her hands on me I pushed her hands away and she was surprised by it. Because normally when I get mad I let someone touch me to calm me down.

But I wasn't calmed so my brother thought I hurt our mother so he went and jumped on me and beat me badly. So my mom called the cops again after I fought my brother off. I got so upset I clawed my arms again. So when the police came. Mom wanted me to go back to the hospital. But the cops said I couldn't. Because I just got out of there. So since my brother was a minor I had to go to jail.

Can you believe that? I was defending myself because my brother hurt me. Yet I was the bad guy! So I got really upset. So I had to go to jail and it sucked big time. It was at night which is the norm for me. I watched what the cop was writing up while I sat in the back handcuffed. It hurt a lot and I wanted to yell at the cop to take them off.

But I knew I would get into trouble. I never been to jail before so I was really scared. Finally twenty minutes later he took them off of me. We went inside and if you ever seen the movies or have experienced it yourself (comment if you have I really don't judge) you would all know the drill. But to those who haven't seen any cop movies or experienced it yourself.

Then I'll tell you. They take your picture they take away your stuff after they search you. Then they give you the orange jump suit and then they take your finger prints. I had to stay in a holding cell for a long time. I just sat and hugged my legs to my chest. I was really scared.

I kept thinking no matter how hard I try to be a good daughter this is how it's going to end up. I started to cry and I tried to keep it in the best I could. But finally I couldn't take it anymore and I just quietly cried to myself. Finally an hour later they took me out of the holding cell. They gave me things I would need and they made me carry my mattress. By the time we got to the cell blocks. They were packed.

I didn't have to stay in a cell there wasn't any room so I had to sleep under the stairs. Finally they made us all go to sleep. But they wouldn't turn off the lights! So I had to sleep with the lights on. But I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. Trust me I've tried. Finally it came morning and I had to sit and do nothing. I met the people I was in a cell block with.

They didn't try to hurt me which was a surprise. One of them even told me that I shouldn't hurt myself. When she saw my claw marks. They hurt because they were healing they even looked bad. But finally they moved me somewhere else. When I got to my new cell I had to make the bed military style. Before I could take a shower it's really weird taking a shower.

Because there was no curtains and the police could watch you shower. I felt better after taking a shower but the jail food sucked. The bathrooms where you can use the toilet didn't have any privacy stalls they were really short stalls. So it was weird. I just wanted to get out of there. Finally I got out later that day. My mom bailed me out and I could go home. As soon as I got home I fell asleep.
The next day my mom babied me and acted like nothing happened the day before. But I just dealt with it. Finally things started to settle down.

I'm going to stop here and say a few memories that I have in my head and that I remembered. So here it goes.
My last year of high school my dog princess got pregnant by my dog shadow. So when my mother and I went to her docs appointment my brother called my mom and said that princess was peeing all over the place.
I couldn't stop laughing about that. Because mom told him that princesses water broke.

So we rushed home to help out on the birth. It took six hours for princess to give birth to her six puppies. We thought we lost one of the puppies. But it started to move. We had three boys and three girls. They were the cutest things ever! They were black and white and one of them had brown and black fur. We gave them nicknames.

The boys nicknames were: Trouble he was the fluffiest of them all! Then there was lucky, and bear.

The girls nicknames were: chocolate because she had black and brown fur, then there was honey and Bayleaf.

To be honest I was attached to them all! I didn't want to give up any of them. But Florida law states we can only keep Five dogs so we could only keep two. Because mom couldn't afford five she could only afford four.

But before we could give some away. We had to raise them some. My mom and I had to baby sit them. They would keep us up all night and we could only sleep during the day. I really felt like a vampire. But I loved them and they were worth it plus they were so tiny! I mean how can you resist that cuteness!

They could fit into the palm of my hand and sometimes I would lose them in the couch. So I would freak out and try not to lay on them. I was laying on the couch watching tv while the puppies would crawl around inside of the pool. Their eyes weren't opened. They would whine and I would get up and pick them up and rock them and sing to them.

They would fall asleep on my chest and stomach one of them fell asleep on my head. Then I would make princess get into the pool to feed them. Turns out she didn't want to feed them. But I would make her we had a barricade around the couch so none of the puppies could get out. So princess couldn't leave. Finally they started to get older and they became clever. Trouble would always be the first one to try to do something that would get him in trouble and his siblings would follow his lead. But they were all worth it. Finally we found them people who would adopt them and take them home. I Tried not to cry as they left.