Cole

Jillian the Neurosynth

When the meeting ended it was clear that the rest of the Neurosynth team did not trust me at all and thought I was just an emotional stupid kid. There was no way I was ready to lead anything. I didn't want that job, anyway. The thought of it put me in a state of shock, going in and out of hyperventilation and panic attacks. I really just wanted to get back to Manda and run away with her from this crazy world.

The blindfold was put back on as well as the hand ties. I presumed the folks that I met at the meeting would go back to their regular jobs, probably back at Bay State General in Massachusetts. My mom and dad would stay in Hawaii, and I wasn't sure what they would do with S lab for now, probably moth ball it until my memory of Nuorosyn came back, if it ever would. I also now had all this money. That must have been why mom and dad never batted an eye when I needed to have them buy stuff for me.

I was led back up stairs and out the door and into my dad's car. I could feel the familiar upholstery and remembered its car smell.

"Cole, I think you did okay in there", said dad. "Thorne really dumped a lot of new stuff on you that is hard for anyone to believe. To be honest, I find it hard to believe. I think as time goes by, and memories come back, you will see how your current life and past lives could fit together. You just need to give it time".

"Yeah, well maybe", I said.

Mom was quiet. I could not see her face with the blindfold but now that I knew she was like me I really needed to have a private conversation with her. We were two of a kind and unique. I wondered how she handled it.

When we got home dad removed the blindfold and hand ties before I left the car. The first thing I looked for once my blindfold was off was my beautiful mom, who I now knew wasn't really my mom at all. When I finally spotted her our eyes locked and I saw her eyes dilate a bit and she blushed. I felt a little uncomfortable talking to her this soon, so I didn't.

I went back to my room and pushed and lifted my weights for a while, and I also moped around feeling a bit down. I no longer felt that I was really a human being. I was an assembled being, as Dr. Thorne put it. I was born when I was assembled.

I also thought about Manda. She was the most important thing in the World to me. All this other stuff was creepy and I worried that my attraction to Manda was not my own but rather that of Dr. Mos who regretted ignoring his crush 60 years ago. In my dreams I had seen images of a girl that looked a lot like Manda and I was often staring at her but not doing anything with her. That girl was a few years younger than the Manda I knew.

I wondered and worried that my love of Manda was all just creepiness.  I was thinking that Manda did not deserve this. I deeply cared about Manda and it was looking more and more like I was no good for her.  It seemed likely that I was actually a rapist and a murderer when my body was in Syria, while the other half of me seemed to be a 72 year old pervert that was creeping on a 14 year old girl. That was a horrible combination. I also wondered if this hyper sexually was more serious than I thought; I was probably actually worse than what Lance had. His had natural hyper-sexuality, while mine was not natural.  I wondered if one of these days I might lose control of myself and rape the hell out of Manda and injure her with my strength like my mom said I would.

I stood up suddenly and decided I could not wait anymore. I had to talk to mom. I left my room looking for her.

It was strange but I could not find her right away. Eventually I found her in a back corner of the garden dead heading some flowers. It was like she didn't want to talk to me. She had changed into her denim short shorts and wore her yellow sleeveless top. Her hair was stuffed under a baseball cap and she was avoiding the sun with her visor on the cap. She noticed me coming and blushed and looked down. She was quite gorgeous as always.