In Love With One Of The Bratayleys (Entered for #wattys2015) #bratayleyreadmst1fanfic

Untitled Part 77

Hi lovelies.

So, this author's note might be a little long, but you're the only ones I feel I can tell this to.

Well, I'll start with a story. A few days back, my friend told me that one boy that I know from a few years back had a crush on me. And I actually believed it, because he liked all my pictures and he is always super sweet. So, my friend and I started sending him snapchats. He wouldn't answer. He also said that two of my friends were pretty, and stuff.

So, today I asked my friend to tell him to answer my snapchats. And, it all came up, that he had confused me with another girl, and he doesn't like me, have a crush on me, or think im pretty.

And this has been happening a lot. I mean, I liked a guy for three years. My best friend asked him how much would he give me from 1-10 and he said 3. I was devastated. A few months back, I started liking my best friend at the time, the first and only best guy friend I had. And, everyone said he liked me too, because he was always talking to me on the phone and messing playfully with me. But, I was again devastated when he told my best friend that he only talked to me because he had pity on me, and that he didn't like me at all.

And, it's kind of, sad, and depressing. Every single one of my friends had and have guys that like them, while I never had no one. I mean, never no one told me: 'hey, ---- has a crush on you' or: 'He likes you' or his friends would tease him when he was around me.

And this has lead me to insecurities. Seeing all my friends, without acne, perfect bodies, no braces, and totally NO freaks, had lead me to believe that:

- Im ugly. Please, that is pretty obvious. I mean my face is full of marks and pimples, and my hair is a mess. Sometimes I feel pretty, but then I remove the makeup, and im the same ugly girl again. besides, I had braces for FIVE years. Five. Years. I mean, it has been a total bummer. And, Im skinny, of course, and im glad and happy about it. But, my body proportions arent the best. Im flat. like, completely flat and totally no fit.

-I have the worst personality: im a freak. I mean, none of my friends speak Spanglish when they're nervous, and they... are perfect. they know lots of cute boys, and people, while im here with no social life. besides you, of course. Youre my pretty lovely babies and I love you :)

So, this book has kind of described my dreams. How I want to be, in the good ways, I mean, with Amy and Julie's GOOD atributes. I feel like im, an ugly ducking in a bunch of beautiful white geese. Not even a smile fixes it. I don't know what to do anymore, I mean, I never got the experience of being beautiful naturally, just with makeup. And having someone saying: 'gosh, she's so pretty'. and my friends tell me I have lots of insecurities and I shouldn't. But I still have them.

Sorry, lovelies, for you having to read all this rambling about my life. I know you want a chapter, and I will write one soon, I promise. Thank you for sticking with me so long, and I wish I could meet you all one day and hug each one of you my internet beautiful family.

I love you so much,

Julie.

yes, that's my name. Im Julie, but you can call me Missstoryteller. It's okay by me. I thought it was appropiate to tell my name in this message.

BTW, a QandA is open! Make all the questions and comments you want and I will answer them all. :) Love you.