Connor and Zoe had just gotten their burrito bowls at Chipoltle and sat down at a table in the corner.
"Okay. Spill."
"Geez Zoe could I atleast try my food first?"
"Ugh fine. But the longer you wait, the longer I can't help." Connor rolled his eyes at her as he ate his bowl. Every bite closer to finishing he could see Zoe getting giddier and giddier. Once he had finally finished he took a deep breathe and let it all go.
"Okay. So. I um... I've had depression and anxiety for the past couple years. And it's always kinda wrecked my mood and self esteem and all that shit. So like. Going to school really sucked until about a month ago when me and Troye met. And I finally had something to look forward to in the day. And we became close friends pretty quick. And... I may have asked him out last Saturday. And yeah. I guess we are together now. My stress and anxiety had gone way down until Monday night and I just started thinking about stuff and didn't stop. And you know. I've never really even been in a relationship, and never with a boy. And I just kinda started freaking out. And like why would someone want to be with me? I'm bland and stressed. And I took a risk, and went outside my comfort zone, and asked him out. Because he wouldn't have since I had told him I didn't think I could be in a relationship right now. But now I'm so scared to wish anything else. Like. I don't want us to break up because I feel like if we do that ever then we wouldn't be friends and I would be even more depressed than before we met. I really care for him. And I'm just... I don't even know. Tell me what to do." Zoe sat there for a moment staring at Connor. She leaned forward in her seat so that she could speak clear to him.
"Do you love him?"
"What?"
"I said. Do. You. Love. Troye." Connor sighed. That was the only thing he didn't want to hear right now. But why?
"I.... I don't know what love is." Zoe smiled softly.
"You may not yet... But you will soon. I know it."
"What is that even supposed to mean."
"Just... Forget it. Forget that question. Okay. I would suggest taking a risk. Ask him on another date. Ask him to the dance. Do something that you wouldn't normally do. And you will see you have nothing to be worried about. He really likes you Troye. I can see it in his eyes. They way he looks at you." Zoe's eyes widened as she shook her head. "I would cry tears of joy if someone looked at me like that."
"You'll find someone Zoe."
"Yeah maybe."
"So. Zoe why did we even stop talking?"
"Like. In Elementry?"
"Mmhmm."
"I actually don't know. We were so young. It was probably something really stupid that could have been avoided. But honestly I don't really remember."
"Yeah same here."
"Hey. Don't frown. It makes me sad. When are you seeing Troye again?"
"Tomorrow."
"Okay. So... Tell him how you feel. Whatever that is. He deserves to know."
"He kinda does. He just doesn't know much about my anxiety or stuff like that."
"Then tell him. The first step in a real, working relationship is trust and honesty. You have to give him that if you want to be together longer than a couple month high school thing. You have to be able to trust him with the things you told me today. If you can't... Your just leaving him in the dark in this part of your life. And who knows. He might be very helpful in the situation." Connor sighed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew Zoe was right on all of this.
"Where have you been all my life?"
"I haven't absolutely no idea Connor. But come one. I've got to get home soon. And you should try and think of something to say to Troye. I promise you. No matter what. It will be worth it. Okay?"
"Okay." Connor said, throwing his trash away in the garbage.
"Okay. Well. I've got to run. I'll see you at school on Monday though, yeah?" Zoe asked.
"Yeah of course. I hope we start talking more."
"Me too. And don't forget what I said."
"Okay Zoe."
That whole night Connor thought about what to do. What to say. Should he take a risk and do something he usually wouldn't? He would have to make sure it felt like the right moment to do so. Maybe he should just tell Troye the truth and tell him he's not sure how fast or slow they should be going. Maybe he should tell Troye about his anxiety and depression. Yes. He had talked to him about it before. But not too much into detail. Maybe he would be able to think better if got it all out there in their relationship. There was something that had to be said. But he couldn't tell what it was exactly.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I have no clue if this was good and I wrote it a while ago so I don't even remember the plot. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed it. Please comment and vote and share with friends and all that shit.
I've been feeling crappy recently and so I've been trying to write a lot to get away from everything. So I know most of the rest of this fic and guys.... OMG. That's all I've. got to say.
Ohh. I get to meet Troye in 6 days. I'm kinda freaking out. Hey. If your going to the San Fransisco show message me and we can meet and chat about tronnor. So yeah.
This chapter is definitely dedicated to a certain couple people.
mellet-franta and @AnaBeatriz20046
Thank you guys for supporting me. It keeps me writing.
I think I have a schedule for when I'll update my fics.
Monday/Thursday: Anticipation
Saturday: One-shots.
So Yeah I think that's it. Hope you enjoy!
By lovelies! I love you all so much!
Teeny out!
