After Zoe went home, Connor continued to ignore Troye. He didn't think he could handle a serious conversation or even. Troye just telling him it was all alright. He constantly felt he was going to break down. So he wasn't going go put Troye through that. Troye just deserved to be happy. And he knew it wouldn't make Troye any happier if all Connor ever did was break down. Connor started to listen to music. Mostly indie. After a couple hours into the night he heard a song he felt explained his feelings pretty well. He started the song over, looked up the lyrics, and started listening to it on repeat.
Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away
Yeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it
Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad person
Well, baby, I know.
And these fingertips
Will never run through your skin
And those bright blue eyes
Can only meet mine across the room filled with people that are less important than you.
All 'cause you love, love, love
When you know I can't love
You love, love, love
When you know I can't love
You love, love, love
When you know I can't love you
So I think it's best we both forget before we dwell on it
The way you held me so tight
All through the night
'Til it was near morning
'Cause you love, love, love
When you know I can't love
You love, love, love
When you know I can't love
You love, love, love
When you know I can't love you
All 'cause you love, love, love
When you know I can't love
You love, love, love
When you know I can't love
You love, love, love
When you know I can't love you
Connor sang softly to the song laying down on his bed, not even noticing he had accidentally butt dialed Troye in the process.
The song finished and he just laid there silently for a while. Suddenly he head Troye speak. And he thought he must have been hallucinating.
"Connor." It was barley a whisper, but he could hear it. I must really miss him. Connor thought. Then he heard it again and started to get curious.
"Connah." Troye said a bit louder into the phone.
"I miss you. But I can't hold you back." Connor talked out loud. Not even noticing what he was saying.
"Connor. Please."
"Wait, what?" Connor was now very confused. It didn't sound like it was in his head. It sounded real.
"Troye?"
"I'm here babe." Connor was speechless. He looked at his phone and realized the call had been on for almost 10 minutes.
"Troye... How long have you been listening?"
"Long enough to hear you sing that song."
"Shit."
"Connor I really just want to talk to you."
"I don't really feel like talking."
"I figured this wasn't meant to be a call. I know you don't like your singing voice even if it's angelic."
"Troye stop. I can't do this. You deserve better."
"There's no one better than you."
"That's not true. And I have to go. I'm sorry." And with that Connor hung up. Not even feeling like himself anymore. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He felt all he had talked to people about was himself and that sounded pretty selfish. Let them enjoy their lives. He thought to himself. Troye and Zoe will easily forget about me. They are probably glad they won't have to worry about me anymore.
TROYES POV.
Why would he do this? Why would he be so against me even trying to talk to him? Did I do something?
Troyes mind circled with questions about Connor. He had so many feelings about the situation. He knew Connor had bad anxiety and he had thought it was getting better but he thought wrong. He was still willing I go to the ends of the earth to help Connor. But Connor not even letting him talk to him was heartbreaking.
And that song. He knew who it was by. He knew what it meant. And it made his heart break. It's a really sad song. And he understood why Connor had been singing it. But he didn't agree.
He picked up his phone and saw he had a couple missed calls and texts from Zoe. He decided to call her back.
"Hey Zoe. What's up?"
"Have you talked to Connor?"
"Um. Just a while ago, he buttdialed on me but hung up suddenly when he realized."
"I'm trying to help him and convince him to talk to you but he he won't believe anything I say. He thinks he's not worth talking to. Which is absurd because come on its Connor. He just. Doesn't understand how much he can actually be loved. Any type of love. He hasn't experienced much love or care since his mom died. And I think he's just scared. And afraid people are like... Messing with him or something. He doesn't quite realize that he is really cared for."
"I wish he would believe that I do love him and I do care for him. And even though he was the one to ask me out I don't think he thought he would actually be in a real, caring, loving relationship. I just don't know how to talk to him about it. He won't even talk to me."
"Give him time. He will come around. And we can atleast try to talk to him at school. Just give him some space the rest of the weekend and let him think it out and calm down."
"I guess. Thanks Zo. And please text me if you hear anything from here."
"Will do.... And Troye. He does love you. He's scared to admit it and I know he already has, but I don't think he realized how it would feel."
"It's fine. Talk to you at school."
"Okay Tro."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Hey guys! So... What's up? I hope your all doing okay. If your not then if you want to talk I'm always open to talk!
And Troye had laryngitis at his last show and still performed cause he's an Idiot apparently.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's kinda sad but it will cheer up later I promise! 😁
Please vote, comment, and share with friends and if you feel like sharing on Twitter and tumblr and stuff please do.
Okay. Bye lovelies!!!
Teeny out!
