Hetalia Feels

Fabulous (P)

Warnings for: shyness, use of sexuality-associated slurs, name-calling, & suicide by being trampled by horses (yes, really).
~~~~~

Despite how I act,
I am actually
Very shy.

Despite how I seem,
I can be
quite strong.

Despite how I dress,
I know
I am a boy.

Despite how people judge,
I still have hope
For a day,
Just a day,
Without hurtful comments.

Fag.
Weak.
Stupid.
No sense
Of shame.

I laugh it off,
Quoting a Swedish man.
"It's not called being gay,
It's called
Being fabulous!"

Still,
Inside,
I am crying.
Slowly dying.

I'm bisexual.
Every country is,
Though they
Don't admit.
Well,
Sweden is gay.

I dress girly
To feel better
About myself.
Strange,
But effective.

Stupid?
I know more
Than I let on.

As for a sense of shame,
I have that.
Being myself
Isn't shameful,
Is it?

To be honest,
I can be strong in war.
But in terms of my mind?
My will to live?
I really am weak.

Because of this,
I can't seem
To stick up for myself.

Instead,
I am running away,
Into the sweet embrace
Of Death.

Just so that,
For one moment,
I won't be judged,
I'll die wearing pants
Instead of a skirt.

With a hand on the lock,
A smile on my lips,
I open the paddock,
And the horses come rushing out.
Trampling my body,
Effectively killing me.

Now do they know
That I never meant it
When I smiled?
When I laughed?

All this time,
I just wanted to feel
Fabulous.

Don't worry Lithuania, I'll, like, totally see you in the afterlife!

~~~~~
That last part I just couldn't resist adding, as a PoLiet (Poland x Lithuania) shipper. Tee hee. Good? Bad? Which part made you sad, if any? Poland doesn't say like or totally because he's very serious, just to clarify. May have been a little OOC, sorry about that. Constructive criticism and requests always help me run the show! Requested by the awesome Zoethezany ! Thank you so much for all the comments and support ^-^ I hope you check out my GerIta book, if you want more feels. Anyways, I need more requests from everyone! Pretty pretty please with a flying mint bunny on top? Thank you all so much for reading this! Bai~

~Weirdanimewriter out!

Character: Poland.