Hetalia Feels

Neutral (P)

Warnings for: references to depression,  self hatred, & suicide by shooting oneself.
~~~~~

I am a
Neutral country.

Many ask
How I do it,
How I manage
To stay out of
The fighting.

At least,
Most of it.

The answer
Is yet another
Question.

How can you
Find the strength
To fight others,
When you're already
At war with
Yourself?

Inner emotions,
Raging,
The ocean of depression
That is my mind,
Forever storming.

The waves of sadness,
The lighting of anger,
The thunder of regret,
All three clashing
In this never ending
Battle.

One lone ship
Of happiness,
Of loyalty to my sister,
Liechtenstein.

That ship
Struggling
Against the possibility
Of failing,
And allowing me
To drown.

It's sinking,
Slowly,
But surely.

I have felt
My time
Drawing near.

The time
When the ship
Sinks,
And I lose
It all.

My sanity,
Hope,
Little ray
Of sunshine.
All held
On that boat.

My sister deserves
Someone better than me,
Happier than me.
She deserves the
Big brother
That I am not.

I am cheap,
Unstable,
Unloved by all
But one.

Austria
Was my friend,
And I regret
The end
To our time
Together.

I miss having
Friends.
Being able to
Fight in wars.

Perhaps
I'll experience
Those things
In the afterlife.

Yes,
You are correct
In your assumptions
That I will soon
Take my own life.
Leave this world.

The ship
Has almost completely
Sunk.

I'm sorry,
Liechtenstein,
Austria,
Anyone else
Who might just
Care.

Liechtenstein,
I trained you well.
I know you'll get along
Fine,
On your own.
Without me.

Without me,
You'll probably
Do better
Than you ever did
In my presence.

The boat,
Almost fully consumed
By the unforgiving waters
Of my darkening mind.

The gun,
Pressed against my head,
My finger
On the trigger,
Ready to fire.

I can almost see it.
The water.
The boat.
The storm.

I can almost hear it.
The boom of thunder,
The crashing of waves.

And now,
I see one glimpse
Of that boat,
Before it is swallowed,
Gone for good.

Just like I
Soon will be.

At the same moment
The ship falls
Beneath the waves,
I pull
The trigger.

~~~~~
     Finally got this written. Sorry for the delay! I can't help but feel like I need to fix something... Hmm.... Good? Bad? Requests? Constructive criticism? Requested by AnimeRules369 ! (I think. It's been a while XD) thanks for the request! Thank you all so much for your support and patience, I hope to develop a habit of writing more often! ^-^ Bai~

~Weirdanimewriter out!

Character: Switzerland.