He'll Thug For Me

I Can't

I quickly pull the rest of the pants up, and Jace awkwardly laughs. I look back ashamed to see him still in the towel...looking all types of cute, with a heart rattling smirk. I swear this nigga could model for cardboard boxes and he'd have a million buyers. He could pull off modelling. His fit, toned body...full package.

Jace rubs a hand through his hair, "I shoulda knocked."

I nod because he should have. Maybe he didn't see anything. Any of the scars. They're everywhere. "I should've just waited until you got out of the shower."

He nods too, still carrying that smirk. "You look cute...comfy. Um I'mma-"

I interrupt him by rushing past him and out of the room. I felt so much relief when I was out of that room. It felt like that room was caving in on me. But damn that nigga was cute as hell. I can't believe he thinks I am. Maybe he's being nice and trying to blow over a situation.

I feel the top of my head to feel my worn out black durag still tightly wrapped around my head. Thank God he didn't see that. On the couch, I nervously sit in quiet as I hear Jace from time to time singing or rapping songs. So he likes music? I smiled each time I heard him. He just was so comfortable with being himself...I wish I was.

When the door opened, I without knowing jumped a little. I watched as he strutted down the hallway in a black leather jacket with a grey shirt underneath and dark blue denim pants, wearing some fresh Nikes. He looked so damn good and smelled good, too.

When he neared me, I stood up as if I were supposed to. "You look nice...I uh don't want the food, you can take it."

He shook his head smirking, "Yo family must really appreciate it." He shrugged though, "Nah, my mans got some food where I'm headed. I'll chow down there. Besides I know you want it. I'll be back in a few hours, if you need anything don't hesitate to call, aight?"

I nod each time. He nears me, and I can smell the overwhelming smell of his cologne. He slowly looks me over, his eyes lingering at my head longer than I wanted, before smiling. "I'mma help you love yourself again." And just like that he walked past me and out of the apartment.

I stared at the door for a while confused. Help me love myself? Again. What the hell did that even mean? I stood there confused for a few minutes and decided I wouldn't figure out until I saw him again. I had to know. I have to know everything. Why he's being so cool and nice to me. I'm just me or is he selectively damn blind?

I look away and grab the food and head to his room. There I watch TV and eat. Never have I ever enjoyed being alone so much. I felt like I mattered. It felt good not hearing loud music or yelling and cursing. It was peace, besides me laughing at Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins...shits funny as hell.

Before I know it, I crash on the bed and fall into a well needed sleep.

I think I heard Jace come in, he didn't come in here though, I stayed up to make sure.

The next day, I wake up at six something. I'm so use to waking up early to get the boys ready and wake everyone up and get breakfast ready and cleaning the house. I don't know how to sleep in. I wish I did. I love sleep, it just doesn't love me back, I guess.

I open the door to see the couch opened like a bed. The covers were sprawled out messy but Jace wasn't there. Maybe he had to go to 'work'. I bit my lip and headed to the bathroom, there I was in for a surprise. There were products on the left side of the counter all lined up.

They were for me. And there was a note on the mirror. It said:

'I'll be back in a few hours but I got you some stuff. I ain't know what you want and don't want so I bought a lot of shit. And there are some clothes in the closet you can wear. I'll be back soon.'