The Bad Boys Secret [Cameron Dallas fanfic]

Chapter 30 - Come To Realisation

He has that effect on me. Either my mind stops frozen in its tracks, or it turns into a mass of frenzy of unceasing thoughts. But the thing is, I can never distinguish between the two. Because even when my mind is racing, it seems as though everything still stops.

I watch Lindsay and Cameron as they kiss in the corner of the corridor. His hands on her waist, not moving around but respectively stuck on her waist. I feel myself twitching and feeling irritated by the sight of them together, and it's not even midday yet.

"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay," Katie says catching up next to me, as I slowly sulk down the corridor, still annoyed with her. I take it on board much more than I thought though. And I ponder down the hall replaying what she said.

I sit in my biology class, sat beside Cameron, as he strokes my leg softly with his finger tips. I grab his hand and push it away,
"No Cam, not today." He leans back in his chair and gives me a weird look, startled by my reaction.
"But we haven't in two weeks, and I'm craving you baby," he says, lowering his voice making him sound so sexy. My body sinks in my chair and can't help but smile; he wants me. I need to play hard to get right? That's what Katie has been saying. I don't want to play hard to get...
"So why don't you ask Lindsay for sex then?" I hiss quietly so nobody can bar our conversation.
"Because you are mine. I want you, not her," he says almost straight after. I'm his? He wants me? I sit in deep thought and think about what's happening. I'm confused. He's saying he wants me all of a sudden, when he hasn't asked for sex in ages but now all of a sudden he is? Why is he doing this now?

The bell goes for end of school again and I shoot up and run. Before he can grab my arm and spin me around and beg for me to go to his. Before Katie can catch up with me and walk home with me. Before Sir tells me I need to hand in my homework or else I have a detention. Before anyone can ask me anything. Before anything can happen.

I run. My legs just keep going, and I don't know where I'm going but they seem to be running fast. Every time my foot hits the floor, ache shoots up my legs. My whole leg aching from running like a bullet down the pavement, past my home. That's one place where I can't be right now. Home. Where my mom will bombard me with questions I don't wanna answer, such as, 'what is wrong?' And 'why are you so grumpy?'. Where my dad will say 'I'm here if you want to chat'. Where Kylie will laugh and tease me. Where my bed is. My warm bed. Warm from his body and mine connecting. Warm from the feelings he gives me. His smell. His smell staining my covers. The smell of heaven and a safe place.

That's the thing. He's changed me. He's changed the way I think, the way I speak, the way I move, the way I feel, and the idea of home. Everyone's idea of home is a warm safe place to go to. The fire on, roaring and filling the room with heat and relaxation, as you stare into the flames. Your family in the same room as you, making you laugh, and smile, showing you love and care. The window, to let you see the world out there is a horrible place to be, but yet so wonderful and beautiful too. The rain slashing down, and the roof to keep you sheltered from the storms. The walls are protection, to keep you safe. That's what you might call home. But for me, home is him. The fire is the one he sets in my heart and stomach, making them roar as loud as they can possibly ever. Filling my heart with warmth. His arms for relaxation. And the flames in his eyes is what I stare at, causing my fire to roar even louder. He makes me laugh and smile, showing me his love and care. He's like a window, he lets me see the world a different way, a way nobody else could see it. But he's like the outside of a window too. He's beautiful inside and out, he's a blessing. But then, he has his other side, that's horrible and nasty, which is a lesson. His arms are what keep me protected from the storms, and just him in general, switching off my brain and making me see him, so I end up forgetting the storm. His arms are walls around me, to keep me safe and make me feel protected from all the bad things outside the window. So when I want to go home, I want to go to him, because he is the only thing I call home.