The Signs During Winter Time

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Aries: The sun is out and yet i am still as rigid as the stick up MY ASS.

Taurus: What do you mean pumpkin spice is only available in the fall????? NO I DONT WANT YOUR PEPPERMINT MOCHA FAREWELL MY GOOD SIR.

Gemini: *Wraps self in christmas lights* bitch stop staring or i will call you out, hoe hoe hoe

Cancer: *slips on a little chunk of ice* HELLO DYING I AM 911--OH SHIT I MEAN--

Leo: no heather, i cant have another candy cane, im on a diet working on my summer bod so that limits me to 37 candy canes a week :( it's okay heather diets are just myths

Virgo: lol did u just touch my tea box? cuz haha i thought i told you never to fucking lay your nasty ass fingers on my hERBAL BAGS YOU HEATHEN

Libra: i came to sew stitches and cut bitches so someone pass me the damn yarn so i can knit myself a new sweater.

Scorpio: haha u wanna netflix and chill? they just released frozen and uh well, im down to Let It Go if u are ;)

Sagittarius: WOW WOW WOW HOW DOES SNOW EVEN LOOK LIKE THAT JUST I CANT EVEN COMPREHEND IT I MEAN IT LOOKS LIKE A GLITTERY MARSHMALLOW BLANKET AND I JUST WANNA BATHE IN IT AND CLEANSE MYSELF IN ITS PURITY AND BECOME A HOLY SNOW ANGEL

Capricorn: *stops the weatherman in mid forecast* no more snow days PUNK, got it?

Aquarius: ah yes. cold. it is not hot. how nice. *burns tongue with hot chocolate* MOTHER FU--

Pisces: I JUST FOUND OUT THE GEESE MIGRATED TO JAMAICA 3 MONTHS AGO IM SO MAD

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