A CIVIL WAR UPON US

Capítulo 13

Steve entered the room and saw Natasha lying on the stretcher, attached to some units and he felt he is the most incapable person of this world.

He walked over, pulled up a chair right next to Natasha, he sat and held her hand.

Her hand was cold, Steve lowered his head, resting his forehead against her hand and began to cry a lot, sobbing.

S: I'm sorry, Natasha. I was an idiot, I lost my head. Just the idea that someone else touching you drives me crazy. Even that person being Bucky. It's very hard for me, I wish you had been mine since always and forever. I know it's pure selfishness, but that's what I feel, I'm sorry.

Steve looked up and looked at her motionless and unresponsive body. He didn't know if she could hear what he was saying.

S: I need you, Natasha. Don't leave me, please. Don't give up. Don't give up on our son, you are strong, you're the strongest woman I know.

Cho stood in the doorway watching for a while and felt sorry to see Steve so desperate. She closed the door slowly and asked the nurses to let him spend the night with her.

Steve stroked Natasha's fingers nervously.

S: I love you, Natasha. I know I don't say that often, but I love you. So much. I just get scared of not hearing you say it back, for fear you make fun of me for being romantic. But I don't care now, I love when you rolls yours eyes at me, I love when you gets impatient with me and when you gets concentrated in missions. You're so perfect in everything you do.

Steve cried less now.

S: I remember the first time I saw you on that aircraft carrier of SHIELD. Coulson introduced us and I found you the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I thought Peggy was the woman of my life, until I met you. You always fascinated me and I think I always loved you, even before I met you.

Steve continued...

S: If you were awake, you would tell me to shut up and you would say "Okay, soldier, does that means you will take my clothes off or" or would you say "Is that your way to ask a blowjob , Rogers? It's working"

Steve smiled through some tears remembering.

S: You're so funny. I can't, can't lose you.

Steve spent the night talking to Natasha, who unfortunately did not heard anything that Steve said, but somehow she could feel and this was demonstrated in the heart rate monitor that accelerated when Steve began to declare his love, but not to the point of alarming the medical staff, not even Steve realized that.

Steve ended up sleeping with his head resting on Natasha's stretcher. He woke with Hill knocking on the door and entering the room.

H: Good morning.

S: Hill... Have you spent the night here?

Said Steve, still recovering consciousness.

H: No, I went home and came back early to help you. If you want to go home, take a shower, eat something... I'll stay here with her.

S: Thank you, Hill, you're being so helpful, I don't know how I will thank you for saving Natasha yesterday.

H: Well, I wanted to come earlier.

Steve got up and kissed Nat's forehead. He went to the door, while Hill sat in his place.

H: Steve.

S: Yes?

H: About what Cho said about choosing between Natasha and the baby.

S: I have not decided yet.