Fucking gilinsky

t w e n t y - f o u r

I pass Jack through the school hallways but I always look the other way, making sure not to make eye contact.

I see him at the house we share but I don't dare to talk to him anymore.

I just hide in my room.

That's if he's home.

Everything has been different. The whole thing has changed. For better for worst, I don't know.

I want to move on and I can but my stomach turns just thinking about it.

I'm sure it would be easy for him.

He's almost like anther Sam. Just talking about Sam makes everything worst.

Here I am again. Even in my thoughts I cannot escape the raft of both boys who screwed me over.

Maybe I'm too soft. Maybe I need to step up my game.

I never go out anymore. My friends and I barely talk. It sounded like my life was falling apart.

It was. I let everyone walk over me. I let both boys walk all over me like I was a mat. I'm done taking shit. They have torture me long enough. I have let them consume my body, my every thoughts, my decisions. It isn't fair. I need to love my life without thinking of them.

Maybe this whole situation ending is good. I need to focus on me. Do what I want and do the crazy shit that makes life more easier.

Weed with Nate, perfect day for relaxation.

And that's what I was going to do.

(a/n: lowkey all this shit that i put in this book, half of it i want done to me. except the whole step brother thing. i would be horrible in that situation tbh. highkey luv ur comments on Madison Beer like their actually hella funny & make my day all the time, good or bad.)

- bri