As Told By Tuck & Axel

Colleges Should Apply to Me, Not I to Them

Colleges Should Apply to Me, Not I to Them-Tucker

God, just thinking about college applications makes me want to vomit, consume said vomit, then shit it out and consequently eat that shit. APPLYING TO COLLEGE IS HORRIBLE. It takes over your life. Suddenly, you forget what its like to be drunk. You don't go out. You forget what it is like to not be stressed. You don't even remember the definition of free time, especially when you apply to 11 schools like I did.

Axel had it easy. After a coach saw one of our school soccer games, Penn State wanted him. And like, now. They were practically shoving a damn commitment letter in his hands as soon as he got off the field. They had him for an official visit before the damn ink even dried, meaning he only had to apply to one college, and he knew he was going to get in.

Unfortunately, my soccer abilities were sub par at best, and were only heightened by the goal tender behind me and our frequent hugs and chest bumps that branded us the dynamic duo of the team. Ax was quickly named assistant captain after coach realized he was the sole reason we had the best record in school history so far, and we only had played three games.

Axel deserved Penn State, though. He was a ridiculous athlete. He could goal tend, he could shoot, he could defend, he could do anything. Honestly just watching him play takes my breath away. He is amazing. (Don't let this get to your head, Ax. You suck at everything else.)

I applied to Penn State as a safety school. I was in the top 5% of my class senior year, and most of the schools I applied to were small, competitive, liberal arts colleges in the North East. It had always been my dream to go to an amazing school, to make my mother proud and to honor my father's legacy. He was a Dartmouth alum and graduated from their Business School, which, ironically, is called Tuck.

I did apply to Dartmouth, but it was a reach. I never thought I would get in. Axel thought differently.

"Dude, I know you. You are the most intelligent kid I have ever spoken to. You will get in."

Axel had taken up the habit of calling me "dude" every chance he got. He said it made him sound more American. I didn't disagree.

"Ax, you know only the elitist prep school shitheads get in. I may be a shithead, and maybe also an elitist, but I go to Fair Lawn Public. The school system kinda sucks compared to all those douchey prep schools."

He smiled at me as he pulled into my driveway. "I don't know, Tuck. I just have this really good feeling. Today is your day. Call me when you feel like it." I nodded, thanking him for the ride and heading inside. Today was the day I would find out if I got into Dartmouth.

I remember my mom sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and a stack of untouched mail in front of her. She was biting her nails. As soon as she saw me, she practically shoved the letter into my hands.

"It's here," she breathed out, her voice a shaky, nervous mess that reminded me I felt the same way. I plucked it from her hands and stared at the name on the envelope. Tucker M. Oaks. It wasn't too thick, but it also wasn't small and thin. Everything was up in the air.

"Remember hun, you still have those five schools. You have five schools you've already been accepted to, so don't feel discouraged if this doesn't work out, okay?"

She was right. I had already been accepted to five other schools, Penn State being one of them.

I turned away from my mother and went upstairs, locking my door and tuning out her cries off "let me know what it says!!" as I plopped down on the blue and white striped comforter I hated, but Axel loved.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I tore open the envelope softly, careful not to rip more then the end off.

I got in.

My body's first reaction was to call Axel, so I did.

"Tuck?! What does it say?! What's the news?! God, I'm so fucking nervous I've been sweating since I left your house."

I froze, and I felt gears shifting inside my head, inside my chest. My heart skipped a few beats. "I didn't get in."

Now, I can't say that I don't regret those four words, because I do. I truly do. Dartmouth could have been the chance of a lifetime. But in that moment, Axel had made my decision for me. Hearing his voice, the anxiety and the genuine care behind his words, the only thing I could think was: how in the hell am I going to live four years without this kid?

"Oh, Tucker..."

"Axel," I cut him off. "Let's go to Penn State. Together."

"WHAT?! You're kidding. NO fucking way! We get to fuck shit up for four more years?! God I must be dreaming."

Despite the possibly life-altering, future-ruining, spur-of-the-moment decision I had just made, I laughed.

"Yes, Ax. Let's fucking do it."

Side note: Sorry, Axel. For lying to you. I know you would have been so proud of me, but I know you. And if you knew that I got in, you wouldn't let me follow you to school. And that just wasn't worth it.

Oh, and sorry you're finding out about this through this stupid ass book. By the way, I still hate this thing.

So, anyway, I barely had time to hang up the phone before he was banging on my front door.

"Tucker, hunny, your better half is here!" My mom yelled up the stairs in that teasing sing-song voice of hers that was strictly reserved for Axel.

I'm not going to lie, I fucking bolted down those stairs. I unlocked the front door and pulled it open, but I didn't even see his face before his entire body was being hurled at me as he yelled in excitement. He wrapped his entire body around my torso so I had no other option than to grab the underside of his ass and hold him up in the koala bear hug he was giving me.

My mother burst out laughing as soon as I carried the boy into the living room. I had a similar smile on my face; Ax's presence had a strange habit of making me giddy.

"What's all the hubbub about?" The knowing tone in my mother's voice told me she thought I had opened the letter. She thought I had gotten in, due to the apparent celebratory embrace Ax and I were still in. A deep guilt resonated in my chest.

I shifted my weight, and released Ax from my grip, placing him on the ground. He was beaming up at me, his dirty blonde hair sticking up in every direction, the familiar scruff on his cheeks not yet present. His smile gave me the confidence to breathe.

I smiled back at him, then turned to face my mom. "I'm going to Penn State, ma."

A brief look of sympathy flashed across her face, but it was soon replaced with a growing grin. She pulled me in for a long hug, smoothing down my hair. "God, Tuck, I'm so proud of you. I know your father would be too."

The thing is, Ax and I actually both went to Penn State on scholarships. I had a full academic scholarship, which released the immense economic burden I knew my mother feared.

As soon as I broke away from my mom, Ax was shoving something fluffy in my hands. Confused, I stared down at it. It was a teddy bear wearing a t-shirt. The t-shirt said "Someone at Penn State Loves Me." I grinned at him.

"It's me," he explained. "I'm the someone at Penn State who loves you. Well, at least I'm going to be." I chuckled. "I was going to give it to Riles but you're far more important. God, Tuck, I'm so fucking excited! Shit, sorry Mrs.O! Excuse my language!"

My mom only laughed, smiling at me with this weird look in her eyes. I felt my chest grow with confidence. Ha. Take that Riley. Who's Axel's bitch now?

Needless to say, it was me.