As Told By Tuck & Axel

PSU Teaches me a Thing About Tuck

Chapter: PSU Teaches me a Thing About Tuck

Author: Axel Otto

I speak for the general educated public when I say the following: college is the best four years of your life. Don't let anyone tell you different. I would give my left kidney to be back at PSU instead of rotting in DC with a landlord who likes to threaten to cut off my balls if I skip out on rent.

College was no different in that sense; everyone around you was poor and dingy as fuck. People walked around wearing last night's vomit and a pair of sunglasses, eating lunch out of 10-cent Styrofoam cups of noodles. However, many of our friends have surpassed that level since they graduated. They got fancy jobs, they didn't have to pay for law school, and some of them even have wives. Tucker and me, we still eat the 10-cent cup of noodles every Thursday, and not just for old times sake. But, like always, we're in it together.

"DUUUUDE!"

Tucker was running up to me, ready to pull me in for one of his hug-and-spin-Axel-around ordeals. After he put me down, I smiled up at him. "You got in! As a freshman at Penn State in the first game of the season. YOU ARE MY HERO, AXEL!"

I laughed as he embraced me in an even tighter hug. I was beaming; I had played the entire second half and saved all six shots the Michigan offensive line kicked at me. It was crazy.

A second later I was being pulled away from Tucker (who was currently illegally on the field) and was consequently thrown over the shoulder of an unknown subject. He was wearing a PSU uniform, and with one look at his ass, I knew it was Ryan.

He spun me around and put me back down again, shaking my shoulders as soon as I landed on the field. "DUDE! YOU ARE AMAZING! BEING YOUR SWEEPER IS THE SICKEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!"

Ryan was a freshman, my roommate, and the starting sweeper. He was an amazing player and my favorite kid on the team. He was wild and fun and never took no for an answer. He was exactly like me, only with slighter darker hair, a less chiseled jawline, and less women in his bed on Friday nights. He was taller than myself, standing at 6' exactly. (And yes, I am using the American measuring system. Sorry Papa.) He was skinnier than I was, with less muscle tone and a lanky figure. Today, Ryan is the third member of our trio, but it wasn't always that way, thanks to Tuck.

Tuck gave me a weird look as soon as I turned around to talk to him after Ryan let me go. Before I could say anything, coach was calling the team over. Tuck told me to go, then took a few steps back to wait for me.

Coach congratulated me for stepping up to the plate, and even made a few jokes about my German ancestry. When he was finished speaking, he told us to hit the showers. Instead, I peeled off from the group and headed for my best friend. He was still making this weird face as I walked up to him.

"What crawled up your ass?" I asked him, peeling off the sweaty goalie jersey that was driving me nuts.

He raised his eyebrows at me, his stare wandering towards where I had just came from. "Who was that?"

"Who, Ryan? He's my roommate. He's the one you met at the party last weekend."

"Okay," he snorted, as if I were acting like a dick. I drew my eyebrows in.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing. You suck his dick yet?"

"No!" At this point, I hadn't. We'll get to that part later. "Ew, Tucker! What, the second I find another male friend you assume we're fucking?"