Chapter: Why I Punched a Cop
Author: Axel Otto
Our junior year, Tucker had this girlfriend, Lily. She was the very definition of attractive, but that was all that she had going for her. She was clingy, she was protective, she was permanently jealous, she was rude, and upon further investigation, she was the craziest bitch I ever had the pleasure of knowing.
On Valentine's Day that year, Tuck broke up with her because she made him choose between her and me. I can't say I didn't get a very warm and fuzzy feeling in my tummy after Tuck told me that. So, we grabbed some ice cream and sat down for romantic movie. My girlfriend at the time was at a lacrosse scrimmage, so I couldn't indulge in any Valentine's sex.
About halfway into the movie, some cops showed up and announced they needed Tucker for questioning and it had something to do with Lily. They took him in handcuffs after he mouthed off to them. I panicked. It was a best friend's duty to protect their other half, but what could I have done? I wasn't about to sway the officers into letting Tuck go, that was clear. So I did the next best thing. I punched one in the face and got arrested as well.
In the car ride over to the station, Tuck could not stop giving me dirty looks. "You are the biggest dumb fuck I have ever known," he whispered under his breath at one point. "Do you even study law? Do you know how much time you could get for assaulting an officer like that, under the right judge and the wrong prosecution lawyer? You are insane, Axel. INSANE!"
I ignored him and just smiled. It was my go-to move whenever Tuck was mad at me. It always made him laugh. This time was no different. After a while, he cracked. He smiled at me and shook his head.
"Fuck, you're crazy. But damn do I love it."
Everything ended up working out, once we got our phone call to Gibbons.
Lily had accused Tuck, an older boy that she supposedly did not even know, of coming into her room and holding her against her will and fucking her. Tuck was worried because her rape kit would say that he had been inside of her; they did have sex that night. But Gibbons knew what he was doing. Tuck had his nine housemates as alibi's, and everyone that Tuck knew would vouch for him in saying that Lily had been participating in a voluntary relationship with him for about four months. When Gibbons got in to tell Lily all of this, she started sobbing and said none of it was true. Tuck got let out after that. It took some string pulling on Gibbons' end to get the officer I punched to let me off, but eventually he did. We were free men.
"You two..." Gibbons was looking at us as Tuck and I held back grins. "I don't even know where to start." I snorted. Gibbons raised his eyebrows. "You, Mr. Otto, need to learn that punching an officer in the face just to get arrested with your little boyfriend, is not the right thing to do! The right thing to do would have been to call me, to tell Tuck not to speak to anyone without a lawyer, and then to follow him to the station." He took a deep breath and massaged his temples. "I can't say that it wasn't impressive, though. The two of you... you guys could write a book one day. I'd be the first one to grab that thing off the shelf."
Interestingly enough, it was this statement of Gibbons that inspired me to write this book with Tuck. It didn't happen until five years later, but it happened nonetheless. So all you disgusting "Taxel" fangirls out there, send some thank you letters to John Gibbons.
YOU ARE READING
As Told By Tuck & Axel
General FictionThis is the story of Axel and Tuck: a tale of debauchery, douchebaggery, felony, and plain stupidity. It is a tale written by two best friends with nothing better to do with their law degree than write the story of their anything-but-monotonous life...