As Told By Tuck & Axel

Something Tuck Doesn't Even Let Maggie Do

Chapter: Something Tuck Doesn't Even Let Maggie Do

Author: Axel Otto

The only other significant event of our college lives happened during Christmas break our senior year. I was at the Oak's house for dinner.

I stepped outside onto the porch where I had seen Tuck disappear to a few minutes earlier. He was wrapped up in a peacoat and a scarf, and he was smoking a cigarette. I grabbed it from between his lips and threw it on the ground, stomping it out.

"I know you're not stupid, so do you just want to die a premature death?"
Tuck rolled his eyes at me.

"Where did you even get a pack of those?!"

"I don't know, Axel, maybe the convenience store! They aren't that hard to find."
He sounded angry and unlike himself. I softened the hard stare I was giving him.

"Is everything okay?"
I reached to put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged me off. "I'm fine. Go inside, you'll catch a cold."

I sighed. "C'mon Moonie," he glared at me for the use of his middle name. I chuckled. "Babe, just come inside please. I'm starting to worry."

"Well stop worrying! You're not my mom and you're certainly not my boyfriend, so just stop! Just go inside! Better yet, go home. I'm tired of your presence."

All I did was raise my eyebrows at him. He turned away from me. I watched him dig around in his pocket, presumably for another cigarette.

"Be mad at me all you want," I said. "But don't put another one of those death sticks in your mouth. You're not just killing yourself, you're killing me too."

I went inside and thanked Mrs. Oaks and Rick for dinner before leaving. When I came back outside, Tuck's car wasn't there. I went home.

Later that night, I heard Tuck come in and say hi to my parents. His footsteps fell on the stairs. I heard him pause outside my door. He didn't come in. Instead, he sighed, and went to Maggie's. I never heard him leave, so I presumed he was sleeping over.

It was almost midnight, and I couldn't sleep. Apparently, neither could Tucker. My door opened slowly and quietly.

He stuck his head in. "Axel?"

"I'm awake."

He entered the room and closed the door. I scooted over in bed, making room for him. He got in, lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"I didn't smoke another one," is what he said to me.

"I'm glad," I told him.

He took a deep breath. "My dad used to smoke." I propped myself up on my elbow to look at him, even if I couldn't really see him. "It killed him. The cancer he died of... It was lung cancer. I never told you that."

"Tuck..." I reached up and ran a few fingers through his hair. He didn't protest.

"I'm sorry, Ax. About today. I was pissed at myself, not at you," he sighed, and rolled over to face me. "Every time I come home, I'm reminded of him. I'm reminded of how much I've forgotten about him. I feel like I don't, I don't know, I feel like I don't cry enough. I feel like I don't mourn for him anymore. I feel like I'm disrespecting his memory by going days at a time where I don't think about him."

"Hey," I moved closer to him. "Don't think like that. Your father wouldn't want you wasting your life over tears for him. He would admire how driven you are. He would respect how much time you dedicate to your education and to your family. Tuck, you are everything he could ever want you to be. I know I didn't know him, but I know you. And you are nothing short of perfect."

Tuck dropped his forehead down onto mine. "Thank you, Axel." He whispered. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

I turned him around and pressed myself to his back. He pulled my arm around him. I nuzzled into his neck. After a while, I started pressing small, light kisses to his neck. I felt him relax against me.

"I don't even let Maggie do this," I heard him mumble. I smiled, and pulled the skin of his neck between my teeth. "Or that," he added a bit grumpily.

I stopped kissing him and closed my eyes, dropping my head on my pillow.

"Axel?" I heard him say.

"Hmm?" I responded.

"I didn't mean for you to stop. I... I like it when you kiss me like that."

I don't think I've ever heard Tuck say something so pleasing to hear. I chuckled, but obeyed his request anyway.