I Realize Something About Axel-Tucker
There was this boy, Kyle. He was Maggie's boyfriend, then he was Axel's plaything. He was a high schooler, and Axel met him Christmas break. Since then, every time we go back home, they fuck relentlessly.
Kyle idolized Axel. Axel was the first person Kyle had sex with, he was the reason Kyle came out as gay, and Kyle even tells Maggie that Axel is the only boy he will ever love.
Don't get me wrong. Axel wasn't some heartless wench who just used Kyle for sex, he actually liked the kid. He always remained faithful to Kyle when he came home. But Axel is still afraid of getting invested in another boy (we can thank Cain-the-cock-muncher for that) so he just fucks, and fucks, and anally fucks in order to satisfy his hunger.
Sophomore year of college we were roommates, and then we were roommates every year after that. The first day of the year, we contemplating pushing our beds together in the center of our room for easier cuddling access. Then we realized our friends actually come in our room, and they may find our sleeping arrangement peculiar for two boys of twenty. So, now we just alternate whose bed we end of cuddling in when 1 AM hits.
Our parents didn't like the idea of us rooming together. When we told them at one of the infamous Otto and Oaks joint family dinners that summer, they were not pleased.
"Do you two have any other friends?" My mother nodded in agreement with Rachel's question. Axel and I exchanged a smile.
"Well, I have the soccer boys," Axel started.
"And I have the honors college kids," I continued. (I was a part of the honors college while Ax was not.)
"Which means that I also have the honors college kids!" Ax said.
"And I also have the soccer boys. So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, Axel and I do indeed have friends."
And that settled it. We were moved in the next week. I had made plans to help Maggie move all of her stuff into her dorm at Tufts in Boston in a few weeks, and Axel promised Kyle he would head home the night before Kyle left for Seton Hall (Kyle was a boys basketball recruit) so they could have some bye-for-now sex.
Even the first night we moved in, (which was early, because Axel had to be there before anyone else because he played a fall sport) there were frat parties as far as the eye could see. Axel and I attended many of them, and deeply regretted it the next morning when I woke up with a raging headache in a foreign dorm room alone, and Axel woke up in the theater department's house, and then brought home his new fuck buddy promptly after. (That is a story Axel can tell.)
With the arrival of Noah, new said fuck buddy, I came to some conclusions about my best friend that I wasn't really sure I was at ease with. As Noah became a regularity, especially in the wee hours of the morning, I was beginning to realize that Axel was probably more gay than he was straight.
He could argue tits over dick any day of the week, but when it actually came to settling in with one of his partners, it was always a male. He claims they're less drama and easier to mess around with, and I don't disagree. I just figured if he said he had a preference towards the female anatomy, he wouldn't really give a shit about the drama that came with it. Knowing Axel, he could tell a girl "to shut the fuck I'm trying to think intelligent thoughts" (yes, he did say that to a poor sorority girl that year) and she would still fuck him the next day.
So I concluded that Axel was probably going to marry a male, and that I needed to start letting go of my fantasies that included sitting in the hospital waiting room at 12 AM, chewing on Doritos and waiting for our wives to pop our first borns (Tucker Jr. and Axel Jr. of course) out of their coochies.
But, I still had hope.
YOU ARE READING
As Told By Tuck & Axel
General FictionThis is the story of Axel and Tuck: a tale of debauchery, douchebaggery, felony, and plain stupidity. It is a tale written by two best friends with nothing better to do with their law degree than write the story of their anything-but-monotonous life...