Dear You, From, Me [COMPLETED & EDITING]

November 8, 2014

Dear You,
I feel all these emotions. Sadness. Tiredness. Madness. All of these of which I have felt throughout my whole life. I thought these emotions disappeared for the time being, but yesterday, they came back. I see my step mom stumbling and falling down the stairs. Next thing you know, my Dad and her starting arguing back and forth nonstop. She did something she wasn't suppose to do, and my Dad immediately wanted us to pack our bags and get ready to leave. He didn't want us going through anymore things than we already have. She told him and insisted that we stayed. I didn't listen to my Dad and shouted at him for us to stay. I didn't want to leave. He yelled back telling me to do as he said and they both kept going at it again. My siblings got scared and were crying and getting angrier by the minute. We didn't understand why all of this was happening. Being the oldest of them, I tried to stay strong, by not crying and staying relatively calm. I look back at last night and take it, adding it to my long list of things that happened in my life. Everyday I wake up, not really sure about what's going to happen. It's all a mystery really. It's unexpected and it can get scary. Luckily last night didn't go any further than it already did, but what about the future? How do I know this won't happen again?

Like I said, my life just like anyone else's, gives you the unexpected. Just like mom getting cancer and dying. Just like my family moving half way down the east coast to live with my step mom and my step sister. Just like my little brother getting sick and ending up in the hospital, practically almost dying as well. Just like my step mom and Dad fighting constantly and/or them leaving. Just like finding out one of your closest friends has breast cancer. Just like, my own best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, getting shot.

All of these things swirl in my head and live with me forever. These things are the reason why I feel these negative emotions and unfortunately I really don't know how to deal with them, better yet, move on...

From, Me