Shattered Rose

4. THE VARSITY CLUB

"Dear Lord, I pray You will be there if her foot slips and catch her if she falls..."

The Varsity Club was in Asheville, which meant a thirty-minute drive with all of us crammed in a small SUV. The mix of our perfumes was becoming stifling in the closed space, and I quietly wondered why in the world I had agreed to go. The nausea in my stomach reminded me I hadn't eaten, but I didn't want to since I was wearing tight jeans and going out with Jake. My head was already swimming from the shot, and I could tell by Issy's conversations that more were coming. We finally got to the club and paid our cover. Issy and I got red stamps on our hands that said, "Under 21"and the rest of the crew got wristbands. Almost immediately after we got in the door, Issy pulled me into the bathroom, took nail polish remover out of her purse and wiped the ink off our hands. Next thing I knew, we both had on matching wristbands. "Happy Birthday. You just turned twenty-one,"she said. Before I could respond, she pulled me out of the bathroom and onto the dance floor. It was eighties night at the Varsity, and Issy totally looked the part. She was wearing a short, lacy, black skirt and an Elvis tank top. On her right hand was a fingerless black glove. The blue and purple from the other day had been replaced with long pink streaks. They were striking in the light and looked amazing against her dark hair. She danced with complete freedom, and I saw how others were drawn to her. I glanced nervously around the room and wondered if people were looking at me while I bobbed next to Issy's erratic dancing. Next thing I knew, we were surrounded by three guys, each rubbing themselves on us. I tried to politely move, but they had me trapped. Suddenly, strong hands wrapped around my waist, and I was pulled out of the group. I knew immediately who had me, because he had a smell I could pinpoint in a crowded room. "I told you I'd take care of you."Jake eyes were smoldering. I stared at him, mesmerized, while we danced so close his lips were almost touching mine. His hands were like live wires on my skin. I no longer cared who was looking at me, only that I was in his arms. We stayed on the dance floor through two more songs. Sweat began to bead on my forehead, and I suddenly felt self-conscious. "This isn't really your scene, is it?"Jake yelled, trying to be heard over the music. "No, it's not...but, I'm still glad I came.""Let's get a drink."Jake held my hand and led me off the dance floor and over to the bar. He ordered a drink for himself and then gestured for my order. "Oh, water please."With water in hand, we made our way to the back of the club where there were couches and chairs. Jake found one empty seat, sat down, and pulled me onto his lap. My body couldn't take much more stimulation. I had never felt such a physical reaction to a boy before. Sure, I had been kissed and I dated one guy for a month last semester, but none of them ever made every inch of me tingle. Even Aaron and Danny, who were both attractive, had nothing on the desire that raged through me whenever Jake glanced my way. I felt guilty for all those times I judged girls who absorbed themselves in the guys they dated. For the first time ever, I truly understood pure, chemical attraction. He rubbed his hand up and down my back and played with the nape of my neck, sending chills down my spine. He leaned in, his breath heavy on my neck. "Let's go outside."I stood and blindly followed him out, as if we were connected by invisible handcuffs. The outside breeze lifted my hair and my lungs begged for the freshness of it compared to the hot, stuffy club. Jake led me around the corner and backed me up to the wall. He jammed his leg between mine and pressed against me. His chest was so close I could feel every breath he took. I was shaking, from adrenaline, from fear, from lust. I felt it all. He started kissing my neck with light, feathery touches and then moved up until he firmly covered my mouth. My body raged with a fire that could demolish two counties. I brought my hands to his face and then up around his neck. My inner voice screamed at me, What are you doing? You are making out in public, outside a club. This is not you! But my inner voice was a soft roar compared to my desire to be with Jake. I'm not sure how long we stood there wrapped up in each other. It could have been seconds, minutes, or hours. Time was of no consequence to me. Jake was the first to pull away, and I was left breathless, staring at him. "We better get back in before Issy starts looking for us. I don't think she'd be that keen on us kissing."Surprise laced his husky voice, as if our intense chemistry was unexpected. I looked down, trying to settle my trembling hands. "You're right, we should go."Jake tilted my head back up, lightly kissing my lips before he led me back into the club. The rest of the night was a blur, dancing and drinking, then more dancing. I felt like I was swinging through the clouds, and Jake never left my side the entire evening. At the end of the night, we all piled in the car. This time, Issy was in the front seat and Jake was in the back with me. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. A perfect end to a perfect night. When I woke the next morning, I thought it had all been a dream until I was slammed with an excruciating headache. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and I could smell alcohol coming out of my pores. I didn't remember drinking that much, but, honestly, I didn't think about much after the kiss. The last thing I remembered was getting in the car to come home. I looked down at my clothes; everything was intact minus the shoes. Did Jake put me to bed? Did I act like Issy had the night before? I was horrified. How could I not remember? My clothes smelled like smoke, and my eyes had large dark circles under them. How in the world could Issy do this every night? It was already after twelve, and I started to panic. There was no way I was going to get my chapters read in time, not when I couldn't get my face to focus in the mirror. My body was full of toxins, and I couldn't stop sweating, even in the shower. I threw my smelly clothes in the laundry bag and put on my running clothes. I had to get this stuff out of me. In the kitchen I found a note on the fridge that said, "Hangover juice inside. You're welcome."I took the green juice and brought it up to my face. My stomach lurched. It smelled like the produce department in a grocery store. Disgusting. But, I kept thinking of the transformation Issy had made and somehow managed to drink the thick liquid. My head was swimming. Where was Jake? Did I embarrass him? Did I throw myself at him? Memories of his kiss flooded me, and my stomach lit up with tiny fireflies. Confused and frustrated, I grabbed my headset and headed out the door. I could only go a mile, and it was a slow one. Lots of walking. The heat of the day and the exercise were making me sweat profusely, allowing my body to rid itself of the alcohol. At least I felt really skinny. I had practically gone twenty-four hours without eating and was sure I'd dropped at least two pounds between the run and the dancing. Issy's green juice helped my massive headache, and soon I could see the world wasn't coming to an end. I'd get dressed and head to the library. I still had time to get my work done if I focused. Feeling better, I walked into my apartment ready to tackle my assignments. Jake was lounging on the couch watching TV. My insides went liquid. "There you are,"he said, sitting upright. "Here I was coming over to check on you, and you're already out running again. I'm impressed."I had no idea how to act around him after last night. "Oh, don't be that impressed. You should have seen me an hour ago.""It's the hangover juice,"Issy called out from the kitchen. "We brought home lunch if you're hungry.""Yes, thank you. Let me go shower first.""Wow, you were hammered last night,"Issy said, walking into the living room while she popped a grape in her mouth. I stopped at my door and cringed. "You totally passed out in the car, and Jake had to carry you up the stairs. If he wasn't here, you'd probably still be passed out in T.J's car."She acted like it was the most amusing event ever, but I was mortified. Not just at the fact I'd passed out, but that Jake had to carry me. My past returned like a punch in the face. I imagined him sweating and straining to climb the stairs under my massive weight. I wanted to crawl into a huge hole and never come out. I shook my head and shut the door, tears streaming down my face the whole time I showered.