Shattered Rose

13. THANKSGIVING

"Lord, I pray Your strength be upon her and that You will rescue her when she needs it from the mouth of the lion. I pray she is able to stand firm and put her hope in Your unfailing love."

Today was Thursday. I sat up in bed, dread covering me like a blanket, and realized that I would have to be especially on guard today. The last few days were like a nice dream. I would run in the morning, work in the lab, and then meet Parker at the library to study. We would talk about our families and what we wanted for the future. I learned that the Air Force was paying for his schooling, and that they were also sending him to medical school after graduation. Since Winsor didn't have an active unit at the school, he would drive to Charlotte once a month for training. Parker was so careful with me, whether it was holding my hand or stealing a kiss. He always did so with such consideration. He made me feel precious and valued, like his world revolved around making sure I knew how special I was to him. The realization hit me that, for the first time in months, I didn't think about throwing up. What I found amazing was not that I was able to resist it, but that I felt a calm that negated the desire to do it at all. I felt healthy. Of course, it had only been four days, but considering I had been alone in the apartment all that time, it was a pretty big feat. I looked at the clock and groaned. I promised Issy I would be at her house before noon. I didn't want to go. I wanted to throw the covers back over my head and sleep the day away. There was nothing to look forward to. Parker had left last night for his parent's house. Issy was probably going to be very high maintenance, and Jake...well who ever knew with Jake. Would he be my kind, loving, sweet Jake? Or the angry, rude and emotionally unavailable Jake? Part of me didn't know which one I would prefer. It was a no win situation for me. I sighed as my alarm continued to ding at me. Let's get this over with. The drive was relatively quiet and really pretty. Issy lived an hour from school, down predominately back roads. Trees lined the shoulder as far as the eye could see and almost created a hypnotic setting for the driver. I pulled off the main highway onto smaller roads and finally into a gated community called Season Oaks. The houses were spectacular, at least twice the size of my house in Georgia. I followed the curvy road, in awe of every house I looked at, each having its own character and design. Issy's house was by far the most grand in the neighborhood. It sat on a half-acre, off the street and was tall enough to be three stories, although, on closer examination, I saw it was only two. There was a circle drive in front, with four white columns flanking wide steps that led to the front porch, which was scattered with luxurious outdoor furniture. I was awestruck as I walked to the door, realizing how dramatically Issy had downplayed her family's wealth. Issy flung open the door before I could knock and rushed out to give me a hug. "There you are! I was going crazy!"Her voice was as dramatic as ever. "Issy, I'm thirty minutes early."I patted her back, trying to hold in a laugh. "Really? Goodness, this morning is taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r."She grabbed my bags and led me through the door. I could hardly move as I took in the beauty. The ceiling was at least twenty feet high, with a huge chandelier in the entrance. The flooring was a pristine Carrera marble that reflected the light perfectly. The entry fed straight into a huge living room with hand-scraped dark wood flooring and a stone fireplace that ran all the way up to the ceiling. The room was impeccably decorated with dark wood furniture and mushroom colored couches. Everything about the place screamed luxury and comfort, an impossible combination. Issy began to get annoyed with my gawking and started to pull at my arm. "You're upstairs, Avery. This way.""I'm sorry. You just have a beautiful home."She rolled her eyes as if I had said the most ridiculous thing ever and practically pushed me up the stairs. My room was the second on the left, next to Issy's. It was perfect. The walls were two-toned, with soft white on top and dark taupe on the bottom. A large bed sat square in the middle, but the best touch of richness was a beautiful taupe ottoman that held bath towels and a perfectly placed mint. I felt a little like royalty. "Avery...really. You need to snap out of it. It's a room.""Issy, you may see stuff like this all the time, but not everyone grew up in a house this beautiful. I'm just taking it all in."I carefully set down my bags so I didn't add any clutter to the immaculate room. "If you are this crazy over my mom's house, just wait until you see my dad's."I looked at her in disbelief. "It makes this house look tiny."She grabbed my arm and pulled me into her room, which looked like an 80's video. There was a large, red platform bed, with white sheets and a black coverlet. Two of the walls were stark white with large windows and the other looked as if Issy had flung every color of paint she could find at the wall. She sat on her bed, held a fuzzy lip pillow and started filling me in on her "horrific"week. After a few minutes, I realized the gist of it was that she had been stuck in her mom's house all week with Jake, and they were making her crazy. New guy was out of the picture for her mom, which meant lots of alcohol and Valium. "I swear, Avery, I've watched enough internet TV to be considered a hermit."Issy had the typical whine in her voice that comes when she doesn't get her own way, and then it changed abruptly. "So that is why I have tonight all worked out."Her mischievous voice was out now, which was always the one that got me in the most trouble. "Issy, the whole reason I came was to go with you to your dad's house tonight. What on earth do you have planned now?""An after party,"she stated simply. "Who has an after party on Thanksgiving?""Ben. His parents spend every fall in Europe, and it's become a solid tradition around here."She was going on as if it was the most practical thing in the world. "Wait a second, ex-boyfriend Ben?"She nodded and pretended she was fascinated by something in her magazine. "Issy, no! That has 'regret'written all over it."She set down her magazine in a huff. "I seriously could care less about Ben. I've gone to that party every year but last year, and people will talk if I miss it again. They expect me to be there.""Who does?""Have I not taught you anything? The same expectations I have at school, I have here. I'm the social dictator. If there is a major party, and I'm not there, what does that say about me?""I don't know...that it's Thanksgiving!"I paused for a second, waiting for Issy to come to her senses. Then I realized that Issy and I operated in such different universes that there was no possible way to get through to her. I only had one choice...to go. "Okay, fine, we'll go, but how are you going to get through Jake? He'll never go for it.""He'll never know. We'll be at my dad's, remember? Ben lives right down the street, and if I act as annoying and rude as I always do over there, by nine o'clock he'll be begging for me to go back to my mom's house...""...which, of course, we won't do until much later,"I reasoned. "You are so smart! So, I already packed a bag for us and put it in the car. You will wear what I picked out."She gave me a stare so severe I didn't respond. Instead, I let her believe I would change, knowing that I probably wouldn't. An odd feeling of excitement shot through me. For some reason, every time I was with Issy, I felt like I was doing some form of espionage. "Isadora, honey, where are you?"Issy's mom called from the bottom of the stairs. "Isadora?"I questioned. "It's better than Kaitlyn, and she refuses to call me Issy,"she explained as she headed to the door. "I'm up here with Avery. We're on our way down now."Issy motioned for me to come and led us down the stairs. I quickly realized I had no idea what her mother's name was. "What does she go by?"I asked quietly. "Call her Diana. She stopped using my dad's name a while ago, and her first name makes her feel younger anyway."We walked in the kitchen, which was as grand as the rest of the house. Issy had on a smile so fake I was sure it was done just to annoy her mother. Diana didn't seem to notice and instead was pulling the turkey out of the oven. Jake was getting the carving knives out of the drawer when he looked up and saw me standing there. My heart leapt into my throat upon seeing him, and I secretly cursed my body for reacting. "Avery, you're here."Jake dropped the knife and fork and came to give me a big hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. She sat on her bed, held a fuzzy lip pillow and started filling me in on her "horrific"week. After a few minutes, I realized the gist of it was that she had been stuck in her mom's house all week with Jake, and they were making her crazy. New guy was out of the picture for her mom, which meant lots of alcohol and Valium. "I swear, Avery, I've watched enough internet TV to be considered a hermit."Issy had the typical whine in her voice that comes when she doesn't get her own way, and then it changed abruptly. "So that is why I have tonight all worked out."Her mischievous voice was out now, which was always the one that got me in the most trouble. "Issy, the whole reason I came was to go with you to your dad's house tonight. What on earth do you have planned now?""An after party,"she stated simply. "Who has an after party on Thanksgiving?""Ben. His parents spend every fall in Europe, and it's become a solid tradition around here."She was going on as if it was the most practical thing in the world. "Wait a second, ex-boyfriend Ben?"She nodded and pretended she was fascinated by something in her magazine. "Issy, no! That has 'regret'written all over it."She set down her magazine in a huff. "I seriously could care less about Ben. I've gone to that party every year but last year, and people will talk if I miss it again. They expect me to be there.""Who does?""Have I not taught you anything? The same expectations I have at school, I have here. I'm the social dictator. If there is a major party, and I'm not there, what does that say about me?""I don't know...that it's Thanksgiving!"I paused for a second, waiting for Issy to come to her senses. Then I realized that Issy and I operated in such different universes that there was no possible way to get through to her. I only had one choice...to go. "Okay, fine, we'll go, but how are you going to get through Jake? He'll never go for it.""He'll never know. We'll be at my dad's, remember? Ben lives right down the street, and if I act as annoying and rude as I always do over there, by nine o'clock he'll be begging for me to go back to my mom's house...""...which, of course, we won't do until much later,"I reasoned. "You are so smart! So, I already packed a bag for us and put it in the car. You will wear what I picked out."She gave me a stare so severe I didn't respond. Instead, I let her believe I would change, knowing that I probably wouldn't. An odd feeling of excitement shot through me. For some reason, every time I was with Issy, I felt like I was doing some form of espionage. "Isadora, honey, where are you?"Issy's mom called from the bottom of the stairs. "Isadora?"I questioned. "It's better than Kaitlyn, and she refuses to call me Issy,"she explained as she headed to the door. "I'm up here with Avery. We're on our way down now."Issy motioned for me to come and led us down the stairs. I quickly realized I had no idea what her mother's name was. "What does she go by?"I asked quietly. "Call her Diana. She stopped using my dad's name a while ago, and her first name makes her feel younger anyway."We walked in the kitchen, which was as grand as the rest of the house. Issy had on a smile so fake I was sure it was done just to annoy her mother. Diana didn't seem to notice and instead was pulling the turkey out of the oven. Jake was getting the carving knives out of the drawer when he looked up and saw me standing there. My heart leapt into my throat upon seeing him, and I secretly cursed my body for reacting. "Avery, you're here."Jake dropped the knife and fork and came to give me a big hug and a soft kiss on the cheek. I stood frozen, wondering who this person was. "Diana, this is our Avery, Issy's new roommate."He announced me proudly while keeping one arm around my shoulders as if there was some relationship still going on between us. I looked up at him in total confusion, wrestled my way out of his grip and walked towards Issy's mom. "It's very nice to meet you. Thank you so much for having me. Your home is absolutely beautiful."She smiled at me warmly and seemed to beam with pride when I mentioned the house. Issy's mom was the picture of beauty and grace. She had Issy's dark hair and green eyes and carried herself like an aristocrat. Every inch of her was perfectly manicured, and not even one hair was out of place, despite obviously being in the hot kitchen for hours. While Issy was close to the visual replica of her mom, the stark contrast of their mannerisms and style was almost unnerving. "Well, we are so glad you are here. Jake has told me all about you. We're so lucky that Issy got such a great roommate this year."She turned back to the turkey, and I looked at Issy with a mixture of shock and disbelief. She just rolled her eyes and left the room. I felt like I was in some episode of the Twilight Zone and was really wishing I had learned to say "no"to Issy. The only positive was that Jake was being cordial, which I decided was much better than the silent treatment I usually got. "Can I help with anything?"I offered, feeling like I needed to say something. "Can you fill the glasses? There's water in the fridge and red wine on the bar in the dining room."I grabbed the pitcher of water and walked into the dining room. In the center was a long mahogany table that easily had to seat twelve guests. It was beautifully decorated with a fall centerpiece, which included pinecones, candles and small pumpkins. On the far side sat our four place settings, consisting of fine china atop gold chargers, real silver, and crystal water and wine glasses. I poured the drinks, careful to place everything back in its perfect location, and returned to the kitchen. Diana and Jake had all the dishes ready to go, and I helped them bring the feast to the table. There was more than enough food for an army, let alone four dinner guests, but I didn't say anything except to compliment on how lovely everything smelled. Again, Issy's mom beamed with pride and smiled. "Isadora, we're eating, dear,"Diana called out to the living room. Issy came bouncing in and took the far seat, leaving me next to Jake, who was at the head of the table, and facing her mom. Jake reached over, covered my hand with his and shot me a breathtaking smile. I quickly looked down at my plate and put my trembling hands in my lap. My stomach was in full turmoil at this point. What was he doing? Issy's mom said grace and then started serving the plates. "Avery, Jake says that you are an engineering student. That is wonderful, dear. I have been trying to get Isadora to declare a major for a while now."Diana's voice was as sweet as honey, but I knew her words were meant to sting. I suddenly felt very protective of Issy, as I hated when people were passive aggressive like that. "Well, I think Issy's theory on choosing a major is brilliant. If I wasn't on scholarship, I'd totally do it her way."I thought of Parker's words and continued, "Originality is a gift, after all, and Issy never ceases to amaze me."I tried to match the sweetness in Diana's voice but wasn't quite as good at it. Issy hit my leg under the table and tried to hold in her laughter. Diana quickly moved on to other subjects, mainly Jake's internship at the stock company. Seeing his eyes light up as he talked about it, reminded me of the hours we would spend in my bed just sharing our day together. I willed the tears to stay back and took a deep breath. Issy was no help. She ate in total silence. In fact, I had only seen Issy this quiet when she was sleeping, and even then she made more noise. "So, Avery, are you also going to do an internship your junior year as well?"Diana voice continued to sound angelic. "Um, no ma'am. I work at the engineering school now as part of the program I'm in. It's been a great experience for me."I was totally lying, but I didn't feel like saying that I hated every second I was in there. "I didn't know you had a job,"Jake said, looking at me with a mix of surprise and admiration. I wanted to say, Of course you didn't. You didn't take the time to know anything about me before you decided you needed space. Instead, I shot him a sweet smile. "Well, now you know."I could almost feel my life being sucked away as we finished our meal. Jake was watching my every move, while Diana continued to interrogate me on my plans for the future. Every minute felt excruciating, and I was starting to think that Issy actually hated me, otherwise she wouldn't have forced me to sit through this. I was hungry but could hardly eat under all the scrutiny. Diana ate like royalty, finely cutting each piece and delicately placing it in her mouth, while Jake took every opportunity to secretly touch some part of me during the meal. Issy hung her head over her plate and just started shoveling food in as fast as possible. The tension between her and Diana was so intense that it seemed to suffocate any other thought in the room. Finally, the meal was over, and we excused ourselves. I realized after I cleared my plate that I had drunk the entire glass of wine I'd poured, and I had new appreciation for Issy's love for alcohol. We dropped our plates in the sink, and Issy made a beeline for the door. "Shouldn't we help with the dishes?"I whispered. "You can, I'm not. I've done my time for the day."She jetted out right as Jake and Diana made their way into the kitchen. I smiled and complimented her again on how good everything was, not sure how to make the great escape myself. "Diana, you worked so hard. Let Avery and me clean up for you while you rest,"Jake offered as he took the plates out of her hand. "Oh, I couldn't, Avery's our guest.""Are you kidding, she insists."Jake looked over to me expectantly, and I quickly agreed, having no idea what was going on. Diana took the out and headed to her bedroom, looking as fragile as a child. I turned to the sink and started running water for the dishes, hoping to keep busy enough to avoid small talk with Jake. Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind and his lips touch my neck. "I'm so glad you're here. I couldn't wait to get you alone,"he whispered as he began to kiss my ear and my jawline. I quickly turned around and attempted to move him off of me. "What are you doing?"I hissed. "You are acting like we are a couple, when we are hardly speaking!"I was so taken off guard by his affection that I didn't know how to process it. Part of me was still so angry with him, but part of me still loved him and felt connected to him. "Only because you aren't speaking to me. You know how I feel about you."He was flashing me his sexiest smile and closing the gap between us again where I was locked between the sink and his body. His smell brought back memories so vivid that I felt almost woozy. "Jake, you wanted the break. You said I wasn't the girl for you. I don't understand what you are doing."I was feeling nauseous and claustrophobic under his weight. "I'm doing what feels right."He was still kissing my neck and whispering in my ear. "You belong to me. My sweet, innocent Avery."I wondered how much wine Jake drank before I got here today. His body pressed against mine, closer and closer. "I knew as soon as I saw you with that other guy that I wasn't letting you go. You bring up feelings in me I can't explain. And now, seeing you here, in this house, it just confirms that you are everything I need."He took my face in his warm hands and looked deep in my eyes. My legs felt weak, and my senses were so scrambled from his kisses that I almost gave in. "Jake, you have to stop. I can't do this with you again,"I begged, trying to break the eye contact. "Yes, you can. I know you want to. Just give me some time to remind you. Remind you of how amazing we are together."He whispered in my ear again, and I was steadily falling under his spell. He reached down and kissed my lips, full of passion and intensity, just like it had always been between us. My body reacted and I hated it for doing so. Jake could set me on fire with just a touch, and I didn't have the power to resist it. Despite my inner voice screaming at me, I kissed him back with everything I had, and all the emotion I had locked away for weeks came rushing back as I poured myself into him. A ding from my phone brought us out of our trance, and I realized what I was doing. I detangled myself from his grip and walked to the door, my breath labored from our kissing. "I'll come back later to finish the dishes. I'm sorry."I practically ran upstairs to my bedroom and tried to collect my thoughts. I looked down at the phone and saw a text picture from Parker. It was him and his brother doing a strong man pose in their flag football gear. The caption below said, "Wish me luck, while I wish you were here."I smiled and felt tears invade my eyes. I didn't answer back, just lay on my bed, holding my phone. I sat there for a while, wallowing in confusion and frustration until I realized how ridiculous it was. I was not going to let Jake determine my happiness anymore! I'd given him everything, and he let it go. Words. He was always so good at saying the right words but never doing the right things. I was done. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready. I had come here for one reason, to help Issy deal with her dad. I was not going to let my drama affect my friendships or my life anymore. With my pep talk finished and my mind almost convinced that Jake no longer affected me, I went through the motions of getting ready for dinner. I opted for black dress pants, with a sleeveless cream and gray ruffled blouse that would work for the party if I needed it. I pulled on my gray cardigan sweater to make the look dinner worthy and touched up my makeup. My hair was a disaster, so I twisted it up with a clip to keep the wildness under control. One last look in the mirror, and I knew I was ready. I was slightly petrified of this dinner, especially considering that lunch had been a nightmare, and this wasn't even the house that Issy was worried about. I knocked on Issy's door to see if she was ready and almost fell over when she opened it. Issy had gone out of her way to take her punk look to the top of the charts. Every inch of her hair was a neon pink fuchsia color that had been flat ironed straight to reach her mid back. She had a black dog collar around her neck and a stud nose ring in that I had never seen her wear before. Her outfit was even more shocking. She had on gray and white striped knee-high stockings that stuck out a good six inches above her high heeled combat boots. Her flare skirt was gray pin-striped with an attached chain dangling from it, and the skirt length barely hit her mid thigh. The most conservative thing on her body was the long-sleeved black sweater with a red and orange flame that ran across the side of her torso. Before I could even utter a word, Issy looked me up and down and scoffed, "You look like my mother. Don't even think you are wearing that to the party."She had her hand on her hip like she was lecturing me. "First of all, I thought we were changing before the party, and second...you can't possibly wear that to your dad's house,"I exclaimed, still reeling from the look. Issy pulled me into her bedroom and shut the door. "I decided we're not going to change. If I'm going to get lectured and judged, I want to make it worth it."She walked over to her bag on the bed and pulled out a sage green shirt that looked like it only had material on one side of it. "Your pants are cute, but you are wearing this top. You can keep your cardigan on until we leave my dad's, but it's coming off as soon as we get to Ben's."I held up the green top. It was a beautiful silky green halter with fine beading woven throughout. It was cut with three crisscross straps along the back and fell just an inch below the waistline of my pants. "Issy, this had to cost a fortune. You sure you want me wearing it to a college party?"I was being practical, as usual, and Issy's response was one of exasperation. "Just put it on so we can go. Oh, and the hair comes down.""Issy, it's a mess.""Better than looking like a frigid CEO!"she retorted as she pulled the clip out of my hair. I could feel my frustration starting to get the better of me, but I pushed it down and took a deep breath. Issy's spunk was what I loved most about her...except when it came to dressing me. "Much better. I don't know why you complain about your hair so much. Most women would kill for half of it."She was done with my look and went about putting her things in her purse. She grabbed her car keys and spun around. "Let's go!""I don't think so. I'm driving,"I said taking her keys from her. Previous experience had taught me never to rely on Issy for a ride, especially when going to a party that included unlimited alcohol. "Works for me."She smiled sweetly and bounced out the door. I grabbed my sweater and purse to follow her, hoping we'd get out of the house before her mom saw what she looked like. We weren't so lucky. Jake and Diana were sitting in the living room, Diana with a novel and Jake with his laptop open. He looked up first as we hit the bottom of the stairs, and his face immediately became rigid. Diana was the next to look up, and her face held a mix of shock and horror at the same time. Issy didn't seem to register any reaction and walked over to kiss her mom on the cheek. I watched from the bottom the stairs as Diana simply shook her head and returned to her book, not saying a word. I quietly followed Issy and almost made it out the door, when I felt Jake grab my arm. "I want to talk to you,"he whispered, scowling, as he pulled me onto the porch and closed the door. My frustration hit a boiling point. Between Jake's earlier advances, Issy's absolute control over my clothes and now the lecture I knew was coming, I just lost it. "What do you want?"I yelled at him. "I have no control over her, and why you have this expectation that I do is beyond me. This sick relationship you two have...just leave me out of it!"Jake's face looked stunned and then a little amused, making me even angrier than I already was. "What is so funny?"I blurted, still folding my arms and staring at him in utter defiance. "Nothing. I just think it's cute that you thought my reaction was for Issy."I stared at him, totally dumbfounded. "It's for you. You look way too hot to be going anywhere without me tonight, even if it is just to dinner."He winked at me and then closed the space between us again, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him. "We never finished our earlier conversation."Issy honked the horn from the passenger seat and yelled, "Let's go! Jake, leave her alone; we're going to be late."I detangled myself from his grasp and walked off the porch, trying my best not to look back over my shoulder at him. My hands shook, and my thoughts were going a mile a minute. I gripped the steering wheel with both hands, making the leather stretch as I twisted it. Taking a calming breath, I turned to Issy. "Okay, tell me where to go.""Wow, you are getting good at this,"she said nodding, shooting Jake a final goodbye wave. "If your face wasn't a complete give away, I'd almost think you were over him.""I am over him,"I lied, hating Issy for being so incredibly perceptive. "You're doing better than most girls. I actually think he wants you back. I've never really seen him pursue a girl more than once before. This is new territory for me."Her tone implied that she was impressed, but it didn't make me feel any better. I had just spent the last four months on a downward spiral, with Jake being the center of all of it. Now that I was finally seeing some light in the dark tunnel, he was back, like my kryptonite, making me fall for him all over again. "Issy, be straight with me. Do you really think Jake will ever be more than the sporadic boyfriend he was before?"It was the first time I'd ever asked Issy for advice on Jake, but I had to know. He was invading my thoughts again, and my stomach was still in knots from his scent when he held me on the porch. "I think Jake is complicated."She was matter of fact and honest, yet it left the door open. My inner voice was yelling at me, but a smile crept on my face regardless as I thought, You never know.