What we're made of. (Logan Lerman fan fic)

Chapter 10

Stella's POV:

I lie in my car, staring at the roof as cars drove by. Thoughts buzzed around in my head like bees, making my head throb. I rubbed my eyes and sighed. Logan was back, that wasn't that big of a deal, my problem was that...well...I wasn't sure how to feel about it. When he left, I cried like crazy and told myself that It was my fault for being attached. I convinced myself that i needed to let go. Now, i questioned myself. Did I want to let go? My phone buzzed in my pocket, but i ignored it. Another buzz. I still ignored it. On the third buzz, there was a tap on my window. I sat up, peering out into the sunlight creeping behind the clouds, to see Kyland standing outside. I hit the unlock button and sat upright in the drivers seat. She went around and sat in beside me with a huff.

"What the hell Stella?" She murmered, watching me. "Is this about Logan? You don't have to be friends with him if you don't want to. I understand that you guys were best friends, but it seems as if he's already moved on. He and Holly are going out Friday night." My heart jumped into my throat, but i swallowed hard and pushed it back down.

"I am moved on. I was just thinking about...Senior trip. I'm excited. Aren't you?" Nice cover, i thought. Kyland searched my eyes then nodded as if she understood i didn't want to discuss Logan right now. "I'm going to go to Starbucks. You coming?" She contemplated then shook her head. I honestly wanted to just be alone and she knew.

"See you later Lucia," She winked at me. Whenever she used one of my middle names, it was a way of saying 'I love you' without being sentimental and all. The car door clicked behind her as i started it up and drove away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Overhead, Ho Hey by the Lumineers played quietly from the speakers. It was calming, but not what i needed. So i pulled out my headphones and plugged them into my phone. I scrolled through a few songs until I landed on Who are you now by Sleeping with Sirens. One of my favorite bands and one of the first songs I heard by them. I turned up the volume and closed my eyes. The music filled me inside, my muscles in my jaws clenching. It filled me with anger, just what i wanted.

I’m tired and I’m lost

I don’t wanna be found

I put my heart and my soul

And strength in this now

So forgive me ‘cause I won’t forget that

Yeah, this world has changed me

So you know when you ask me

Who are you now?

Did you say what you want?

Don’t go back to the start

I’m asking, who are you now?

Did they break you apart?

Won’t you fight back for what you want?

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly

We’re gonna work it out.

My eyes opened and I took a sip of my frappuchino. I was too busy rocking out to my music to notice someone pull up a chair at my table in the corner. Logans' sparkling blue eyes met mine. They were red around the corners, but still beautiful. I could see his lips move, but i couldn't hear over my music so i pulled out my headphones. "Hmm?" I mumbled.

"I said, you've always had such a beautiful voice," He whispered, looking down. Damn. Could he be any cuter! No. I'm telling myself no, i thought. "Remember when we used to hand out in the hammock and you would sing for me and play your guitar? Or when we'd go to my house and you'd play the piano? Or really any time that we hung out?" Oh yeah, i definatly remembered. Those were the only times i felt that someone actually believed in me. Maybe even the only times i believed in myself. I knew those time too well, but i wanted to hear them from him.

"Remind me?"