Not Ready

≈Chapter XII :

~Los Angeles,

•06/28 {Sunday, 11:00 A.M}

~*~ Dorian ~*~

I chuckled as Lani was trying to flip the crêpe, but failed and ruined the third one. I shook my head and took the pall out of her hand, "Stop. This is a massacre, you're gonna end by burning someone and since it's only the two of us in here, I don't want to get hurt. Sit down and let me do it." 

She pouted and did as I said while I took over and started to really make some good looking crêpes, "And where did you learn how to cook, sir ? " She asked looking at me. 

"My grandma taught me." 

"Nǎinai ? " 

I sighed feeling that uncomfortable sensation going through my heart. I was missing her and spending time with her. She was a nice and wise woman, who cared a lot for RJ, Kavon and I. Well, for her her family and friends in general. 

Whenever we needed a break from all the adults' bullshit, we asked to go to her house so we could chill with her. She was always welcoming me in her home when my parents had to work --or to do whatever they had to do-- and so couldn't watch me. Often, it was me and her, other times it was RJ, her and I, and sometimes it was the four of us, so my two cousins, her and I. We were always having fun and were learning a lot with her. This strong and beautiful woman was the cause of so many good memories. I was missing her so much.

"No. My other grandma did."

My parents weren't always there for me once I hit four years old --well my father more than my mother though-- but I was lucky to have two awesome grandmas in my life. Nǎinai and Mama Peach. Mama Peach was a wonderful cook and it was out of the equation for her to have children and grandchildren, who didn't know how to manage their way in the kitchen. So, at the age of seven and whenever I was going to her house, we were spending hours cooking, laughing and talking. She unfortunately died shortly after Nǎinai left us. 

Tinking about the both of them was hurting my heart deeply. 

"Are you okay ? Did I do something ? " She questioned slowly standing up. 

I blinked and shook my head, "No...I'm fine..." I cleared my throat as I forced my eyes to stop watering. I couldn't and didn't want to cry while I had a witness standing just next to me. 

She walked towards me with a sad expression on, "I understand you know...I lost my grandmother when I was ten years old and it was six months after I officially met her for the very first time of my life. She was such a positif person...I miss her." 

I let escape a dry chuckle, "You think you understand me, huh ? " I asked amused. Nobody could understand what I was going through. None of them could put themselves in my shoes. Nobody knew what I'd been and was going through. Nobody knew how hard it was to try to make it every single day of my life. 

"Yeah...And I actually do. We're both secretive and misunderstood individuals. We're good at hiding emotions, we don't talk too much and we're...just scared of letting the world see us as we really are, because they might not like us...the real us." She paused and placed a strand of hair behind her right ear, "I know you think it's better to keep things to yourself, because you think it's preventing to cause some issues between you and other people and you simply don't want to deal with everything that come along with all these hiding emotions, but...it won't hurt you to...find someone you could go talk to. It's not good to keep everything inside. I didn't know how harmful it was until I met RJ..."

I put some butter in the pall and then some batter. I put the pall back on the hob, "Where are we going with that ? And we're far to be the same individuals."