Not Ready

≈Chapter XXVII :

~Los Angeles,

•12/10 {Friday, 8:04 P.M}

~*~Dorian ~*~

"Happy birthday ! " I sat next to Herica at the cafeteria and kissed her cheek. 

She smiled, "Thanks ! "

"No problem. So, what are the plans today ? "

"Well..." She trailed off looking everywhere except at me.

I raised my brow curiously, "Well what ? What's going on ? " I questioned growing impatient. 

She finally met my eyes, "I'm getting out tomorrow ! " 

"For real ? " It was good to know that she was finally able to go back to the real world. She'd been in this mental hospital for practically three months now and since I was hanging out with her, I did notice the change in her behavior. She was smiling more and was trying her best to see life in a positive way. Every time we talk -and if I didn't know that she had a problem- I could've thought that she didn't need to be here. 

She nodded her head, "Yes ! Dr.Feutsch said that I'm good to go. I'm going to live with my auntie for a couple of months, to first get back on the right track out there and then I'll be on my own. I'll call you of course."

"Only call me ? You won't visit me ? " I pouted making her chuckle. 

"Of course, I will ! You're my best friend, I won't forget about you. Talking about getting out, when is your time ? You already talked about this with your therapist ? "

"No." I shook my head, "You think I'm ready ? "

"The question is...Do you think you're ready ? "

I shrugged, "I don't know, I'm not too sure. I can tell that the antidepressants are actually helping me out with my depression, but I'm a bit scared to get out of here. I feel more safe here...away from everybody."

"You feel like you can totally be yourself here." I nodded agreeing with her, "You're scared that the people outside will judge you and treat you like a crazy person. You don't know if you'll fit goodly with the other humans and you're scared to do something that will push them away from you."

"You're a therapist on the low ? " I looked at her like she had grown a third head. She perfectly described my feeling right now. 

She laughed, "No ! But I've been there and I'm still going through this, you know. Actually, I'm freaking out right now. What if I try something ? What if I lose my mind and hurt my aunt ? And I don't want to disappoint myself, my daughter and the other people that are supporting me through this hard time of life." A few weeks ago, Herica told me that she was in fact bipolar. She found out when she got here and that was actually explaining a lot of things. I did remember that she went through one of her phases back in high school, but since I had never really dealt with a bipolar person before, I didn't notice. 

Now, I understood. 

I grabbed her hand and caressed her skin with my thumb, "I'm sure everything will be totally fine. Don't hesitate to call me if you need to talk with someone and if it's necessary, don't be scared to come back here and get the help you need. Okay ? "

She let escape the breath that she was holding back and beamed, "I'm going to miss seeing you every day."

"I'm gonna miss you too."

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