Not Ready

≈Chapter XIX :

~Los Angeles,

•09/25 {Thursday, 9:39 A.M}

~*~ Dorian ~*~

"So...What are we doing here ? " I asked looking around me. It'd been a week since Dr.Khimona's breakdown and now we were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the nature, walking on a million of little stones of different colors and we could only hear the sound of the water flowing in the river and also the singing of the birds and crickets. I didn't know why we were there for this session, but I knew that she surely had something interesting for us to do in her mind and I couldn't wait to discover what it was. 

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Even if you're really complicated and I think that you'll maybe never truly open up to me, I still want to genuinely help you to get better. Help you to be...more in peace with yourself." For some reason, I sensed like she was playing games with my mind again, but I didn't think too much about it. 

"And bringing me here was the best you got. I don't understand..." 

"Isn't it so peaceful ? Breathe the fresh air, enjoy the nature and relax." She said closing her eyes and raising her hands towards the sky. 

"We're going to meditate ? " I wasn't feeling like doing some yoga. At all. It wasn't my cup of tea. At all. My mother did try to get me to like it when I was younger, but she actually made me hate it more than anything else. I wasn't flexible and I almost got stuck in a stupid position. It took a whole week for me to not be sore anymore. It felt like I was broken from everywhere for seven entire days, "Please tell me no." I added in a groan and rubbing my left eye.

She chuckled opening her eyes. She looked at me seeming amused, "No. But don't you feel better being here, far away from everybody and everything ? Huh ? " She questioned me with her hands on her hips.

I looked around before to lay my eyes back on her, "Can you do that though ? I don't think we're being professional here, aren't we ? It's a special session, isn't it ? " 

"To be honest, we stopped being professional a long time ago." She sighed, then grabbed a little stone and threw it in the river. She took another one and repeated the gesture, "I lost my parents when I was five years old. My mother was sick and my father couldn't see himself living without her, so he...he killed himself." She grabbed a third stone, threw it away and that landed in the river once again, "My old aunt took me in and raised me. She wasn't the nicest person in the world, but at least she gave me enough to survive." She bent down and came at one more stone, "Your turn." She stood up, walked towards me and handed me the object. 

I stared at her hand for a moment before to lick my lips and then looked up at her, "What are we doing here ? " I asked nervously. 

"Just relax and let it go. You'll feel better after that." I frowned getting a bit scared, "It doesn't have to be the biggest and deepest secrets, just talk." She encouraged with a smile.

I cleared my throat and slowly accepted the stone in my hand. I took a deep breath walking to the river with a lot of heavy thoughts in my mind. I didn't know what to say and I was scared to say too much. I'd been keeping things for myself for awhile now and it was hard to be there with her and about to share something personal with a person that I barely knew. She was just supposed to be my therapist and she was also giving anger management classes, I didn't know we were going to be more than that one day; because it felt more like we were becoming friends than anything else. 

"Uh, when I was, uh, ten years old I, uh stole twenty dollars from my mom's wallet and uh, she never noticed it." I threw the stone as Dr.Khimona started laughing.