Dear Phil,

30

"Jace?"
Lighter hair. Green eyes.
Madeline kissed him, her black hair falling down to her waist. Breath heavy in his face. She broke the kiss, bending down and slowly taking off her shorts.
Jace stared.
She smiled at him, "What's wrong? Like whatcha see?"
Fragile. So shy. Had to be protected. She fit perfectly against him.
Jace walked over to Madeline, shrugging his shirt off in the process.
"Yeah," he breathed, his brown eyes staring into her darker ones.
"Madeline."
Tesa.
•••
Song to listen to: I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly
•••
Dan didn't come back to himself until he was five feet away from Phil's car.
Please let Phil not be here. I can't... I don't know what to think right now.
Dan walked slowly, shuffling his feet with every step.
I knew I had no chance with Jace. So why...?
"Oh! Hey, Dan!" Phil said cheerfully as he unlocked the car.
Why...
Phil looked over at Dan. "Wait, Dan, are you okay? What happened?"
Dan ducked his head, letting his hair obscure his vision. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry, Phil," Even he could hear how pathetic that sounded.
"Do you want me to take you home?" Phil asked gently.
Dan shook his head. "Just, please, anywhere but here."
Why...
Phil started the engine.
Why does...
He backed out of the parking lot, and out into the street.
Why does it hurt less when I'm with you?
Phil drove.
•••
"Where are we?" Dan blinked. He had fallen asleep.
Phil smiled sheepishly. "You didn't really say, but I thought you needed to think, so you know, this is where I come when I need to think. It's a bit of a drive, but it's really peaceful, actually."
Dan looked out the window.
The ocean?
Waves tumbling against each other, the blue a dark indigo. The sun peaked just behind the water. Seagulls flapped, landing on the beach like snowflakes.
"Come on out, I have a place you can sit for a while."
Dan nodded. To his surprise, Phil reached over and took his hand, pulling him along.
They walked along the beach, waves chasing them up the sand, before pulling back and trying to catch them again.
It wasn't until they reached the very end of the beach that he realized Phil was still holding his hand.
Blushing, Dan tugged his hand away. He thought he saw Phil's eyes darken, but he was to busy staring at his shoes.
To avoid talking, Dan scanned the area around him. They were at the very end of the beach. Giant rocks stretched into the ocean. Waves sprayed white mist as they crashed into the ebony rocks. It was a nice contrast. Beyond the rocks was a field, a lake of grass stretching as far as the eye could see. The blades rippled in the wind. A couple broken trees littered the field, but other than that it was flat.
Phil cleared his throat, bringing Dan out of his observance.
"Uh, you can sit here, on the rocks. It's mostly dry, so you don't have to worry. About getting wet, I mean," Phil's eyes reflected the ocean.
Ocean eyes. They were so bright before. But now, they're indigo. Like the ocean.
"Y-yeah," Dan managed to stutter out.
Phil sat on the sand, as close to the water as he dared.
"Aren't you going to sit on the rocks?"
Phil shrugged. "I like being closer to the water. It feels more... Real. Like I'm actually there." His face darkened. It looked like he wished he hadn't spoken.
Dan sat down beside him.
Phil looked surprised, but wisely kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to scare Dan away.
They sat in silence until the last drops of sun faded into the ocean.
Phil leaned back into his arms, but Dan remained sitting, mesmerized at the specks of light flickering in the sky.
I've never seen the stars so close. They're in the water, and the sky. Everywhere.
He glanced over at Phil, and suddenly Dan couldn't keep the words from tumbling out. "Jace and Madeline were in the library. Kissing."
"Ah." Phil stared up at the night. The stars shone in his eyes.
"I've liked him for forever, you know? Ever since I met him. I was so sure he had no interest in me... But then he kissed--" Dan's voice broke. He swallowed. "Kissed me, and I thought I could be there for him. But I couldn't. I still can't. He goes through girls in a week, Madeline just happens to be his newest. He doesn't even remember our kiss. The longest relationship he'd ever had was with Tess, back when he smiled and she laughed and it wasn't forced for my sake. Tess and I fought a lot then. I couldn't believe she'd go out with Jace like that. Kylie was our only neutral ground. But then, I started to accept it, you know? Everything was back to normal. We were happy. I was happy. Then Sian disappeared, and Jace and Tess fought and Kylie is changing and I'm don't know what to think anymore." Dan touched his cheeks.
When did I start crying?
Phil pulled himself up next to him.
Dan turned away. He wasn't about to let Phil see him cry.
"Hey," Phil said softly, "it's okay to cry,"
He pulled Dan into him.
"It'll be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." Phil stroked Dan's hair as he sobbed against him.
Just like the ocean. Stars everywhere.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Yo.
I'm back!
Kinda.. Just be glad I updated.

There may or may not be another update tomorrow...?

Don't get your hopes up, little ones :D

Love ya!

♥