the girl named winter

| 18 |

I listened to Let it Go while writing this. Thought you might need to know xD

anialaaaaa x

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e i g h t e e n
d a y s
b e f o r e

"I can't paint without him, and it sucks," I frustratedly say, holding my phone to my ear, as I continue to look at my blank canvas. "It's like he took all the great things he gave me."

"You told me you painted even before you met him?" Blue replied.

"But I only painted landscapes then." I groan. "When he came, I learned to admire myself. I learned to love what he saw in me by making self-portraits."

Blue sigh through the phone.

I see my reflection at the mirror. "I saw my flaws and found them a part of me."

"And now?"

"Now that he's gone, I see..." My throat closes up as I continue to look at the sad girl at the mirror. I let my head fall. "I don't know what I see. All I see are flaws."

"Aside from painting, what's your other hobbies?"

"That's the only thing I'm good at, I think. I used to dance... but then." I stop.

"But then what?"

"Never mind."

He sighs deeply. "This is about your past isn't it?"

"Of course it is."

"Everything about you is so connected to your past that you can't move on to the future."

I roll my eyes, gripping my sheets in anger. "What do you want me to do?"

"Let the past go."

I scoff. "How?"

"By painting."

An image appears, suddenly vivid in my head.

I end the call as I slowly approach my canvas.

This isn't right. He has a girlfriend, my conscious tries to warn me, but the image is already alive in me.

My brain is already sending my body an order to simply paint what my heart desired the most.

With my heart racing, I take the paintbrush and add colors to blank canvas, making a picture of a boy in glasses wearing a sweater and an Asian girl kissing under a tree.

"Beautiful."