Who We Are(The Outsiders Fanfiction)

54|"...If..."

<Dallas's POV>

One week later.

She wakes up every night screaming or crying and all I can do is hold her in my arms. It's clear she is afraid to die. All of her life she has wanted to die, she almost did so many times and she didn't even regret it. Now as cancer threatens to consume her she doesn't want to face death. Not to mention she is with child. If she dies so does the baby if the doctors form perform an immediate c-section. I don't know if there is anything I can do besides struggle to pay the treatment. I wish there was a way for me to help though. That's all I want.

I walk into the living room and see Skyler holding Tibby as she just stares at a wall. I put a hand on her shoulder and she jumps a bit. I shush her fear. "It's just me." She seems to calm down but I can't help but worry. "We gotta go to the doctors to talk about what we are doing ," I say. I've always hated hospitals and especially doctors. They say they can help but they can't always. Now they are the only hope for Skyler. She nods mindlessly and continues to coddle Tibby.

"It's a week old," she says quietly. I kneel in front of her.

"What is?" I ask. Skyler blinks away a few tears.

"The baby," Skyler says clearly. I smile slightly and look at Skyler's tiny excuse for an abdomen.

"What do you think it is?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"I don't wanna get attached," Skyler claims. I take her free hand that isn't holding Tibby.

"You can guess a gender Skyler Elizabeth," I claim. She stays silent. Sighing I take a guess myself. "A boy, I'd like a boy," I say smiling I myself. I can picture helping my son grow up to be a great greaser. Greasing his hair back for him until he is able to himself. Just the thought makes me smile.

"What would you name him?" Skyler asks. I think for a minute. Our life has been either set on fire with excitement or our hearts were burned into a pile of ashes. Even when things were good there was a little flame burning, simmering in our hearts waiting to either tear us apart or make us better. My mother told me once I was going to be named Aiden because it means little fire in Gaelic. She would have but my father refused.

"Aiden," I say confidently. She smiles and Tibby giggles.

"Well if I don't make it and the baby does, his name will be Aiden, if it is a boy," Skyler decides. Finally I loose it and just lay my head in her lap. Tears fall onto her black leggings. My stomach moves around like a water wheel. Churning over and over to the point of nausea. Skyler rubs the back of my head as I finally let everything loose. "Hey Dallas, I'm okay, and I've been thinking, I don't want the chemo," Skyler reveals. I look up at her with teary eyes as my arms lay still on her legs.

"Skyler, that's a big decision, one that may cost me your life," I say sadly. She sighs.

"I know it's just we don't have the money and it's just going to make me weak," Skyler claims. I smile at her sadly.

"Let's go see your doctors then we can decide what we are doing for you," I say as I tuck my tears away for a later time. Skyler and I begin walking to the hospital with Tibby happily humming to herself in Skyler's arms.

It's nearly winter and the air is beginning to become colder than the normal crisp fall air. Every morning there is a thin layer of frost across our small yard and all the sidewalks. Tibby's cheeks are red from the cold air but she doesn't seem to care as she giggles and squirms in Skyler's arms. Her mouth opens but a mere squeak comes out of her mouth. I smile I bit and try to get her to speak.

"Greaser," I whisper clearly to her. She giggles and Skyler smiles disdainfully. Tibby opens her mouth and something that sounds like ear emerges from her lips. I laughs bit and say it slower. "Greaser." Tibby looks determined as she opens her mouth again. I think she will get it this time just to realize she only manages to say 'rease'.