my happy little pill | phan

1: The Big Phan Theory

Dan's POV

I shrug off my jumper onto the arm of the sofa lazily, yawning. It's pushing on half past one in the morning, and I am supposed to be doing a collaboration with Tyler Oakley tomorrow morning. I sigh. I am seriously going to regret this when I wake up.

I forcibly pull myself away from the dark depths of Tumblr and tuck the laptop under my arm to carry it into its dutiful place in my bedroom. I suddenly notice that clever Phil Lester has left a tea light candle lighting on the cupboard. I shake my head. I'm literally going to kill him for not blowing that out in the morning.

I creep down the dimly lit hallway in my bare feet with my eyes squinting through the dark, and my free right hand extended in front of me, feeling for my bedroom door. Fucking corridors. I hate the dark. I always feel like something is going to come and grab me from behind and —

"AGHHHH!" a scream rips from my dry throat, and I almost drop my laptop onto the floor as I cover my face with my hands. What the fuck? What the actual flying fucking fuck happened? I whip around at Sonic speed and swing my free arm at whatever the fuck squeezed my shoulders in the black hall. I freeze when I hear laughter. All too familiar laughter. I hesitate and force my eyes to view who is standing in front of me, although I already know.

"I'm sorry," Phil says, laughing hysterically and turning on his bedroom light, which illuminates his pale complexion. "I was just coming back from the bathroom and I saw the opportunity."

I smack his arm. Hard. "Phil! That was freaking evil. Don't...don't do that again please. Oh, my God."

He rubs his arm and mocks injury. "You would have done it to me, Dan."

"I would not," I shake my head to prove my point. "I'm a nice, civilised..." I trail off, not quite buying what I'm saying. "Ugh, I'm just so tired. And I'm meeting Tyler tomorrow."

Phil nods. "What time?"

"After lunch, I think. I don't know. I think my brain died when you grabbed my shoulders, you monster."

He laughs again. I'm glad that he's finding this funny. I roll my brown eyes at him, and drum my fingers on the wall while he giggles. Phil has an aesthetically pleasing laugh.

"Thanks," Phil finally manages, smirking. "Go to sleep then. I'll talk to you in the morning."

I feel myself yawn again. "Goodnight, Phil."

"Night, Dan."

He shuts his door.

+++

Surprisingly, I wake up first. When I slowly pad down the hallway, I listen for the sound of Phil rustling in the kitchen or lighting the fire, but all I hear is dead silence. I am awake first, and I'm so proud of that.

Instead of going straight for a bowl of Cheerios which is what my instinct is telling me to do, I creep back down the hall and stand outside Phil's door for a few seconds. Should I really do this? Oh, who cares. He frightened me in the hall last night. It's time to get even.

I crack his door open just enough to see if he is in actual fact still sleeping. After a few awkward moments of trying to peak in silently, I see that he's asleep. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. His black hair covers his eyes and he has one arm wrapped protectively around his duvet. Now is my opportunity.

I sneak across the bedroom in my odd grey and black socks and stand over him for a second. If I get into his bed, I'll surely wake him up. I sigh. This is going to end terribly.

I creep under his duvet; trying my hardest to not shake the bed too much. Breathing quietly, I lie next to him and try to get as much of my body under the duvet. All of a sudden, he makes a low noise and moves his arm to hug me in closer to his body. His arm is around my waist so I'm scared to breathe in case it's going to wake him up.

His breath stirs my hair and the backs of my earrings stings my skin as I lie on the side of my head. I nestle in a little further to Phil to freak him out when he wakes up.

Then I notice that I'm getting an awkward boner.

Great, Dan. Well done. Ugh. Quickly, I try to distract myself. Please make it go away, please.

Then Phil's fingers knot into my shirt and his hand tightens on me. I feel my breathing quicken slightly. My back is to him and I feel his chest against my back moving in time with my breathing. This was meant to be a joke, but now it's turning into a strangely pleasant moment. For me, anyway. I don't think I want Phil to wake up for a little while.

I close my eyes and sleep next to him with his arm slung over my waist, closing my hand over his fist which is still gripping my shirt tightly. If the "Phan" fans knew about this they would literally crap themselves. If the Phan shippers knew anything about our past they would crap themselves.

But it's mine and Phil's secret to keep. We don't have too many secrets from our Subscribers, but we both harbour one quite large one. The fan theories aren't too far off either, but we love keeping one little thing for ourselves that no one can ever know.

I think I'll just lie here for a while until Phil ruins it and wakes up.