my happy little pill | phan

3: Honestly, Tyler's Feeling A Little Attacked Right Now

Dan's POV

I forgot about my collaboration video with Tyler Oakley. Shit.

And of course I didn't hear the doorbell chiming, and I didn't hear footsteps climbing into our flat, and I didn't at all hear the sound of Phil's bedroom door opening.

However, I did hear Tyler's startled gasp. He sounded traumatised, and stunned.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God," Tyler exclaims and literally stares at us. I'm lying on Phil's chest, and Phil has his arms around me in his own bed. I can only imagine how terrible this must look in front of poor Tyler Oakley. "Dan, I...I'm just gonna...sorry, I'll wait in the kitchen or, yeah."

I roll off Phil like a fucking ninja and whip the duvet off me faster than I've ever moved in my entire life. "Tyler, shit. It isn't what you think, I swear."

"We weren't...doing anything," Phil says unhelpfully. I shoot him a glare.

Tyler hides his mouth behind his hands and covers his eyes a little as he processes what he thinks he has seen. "Oh, my God!" he exclaims again. "You little shits telling everyone that Phan's not real. I feel like I've just walked in on celebrity gossip or something. This is amazing. Fuck, this is amazing."

Phil and I exchange a worried glance. How can we convince him that we didn't actually do anything? We all stare in silence for the next two and a half minutes.

"I won't say a thing, guys. You know I won't," Tyler promises, breaking the silence. "And if you even try to deny the Phan, I'm not going to believe you. Oh, my God," he laughs. He seems so happy to have just walked in on me and Phil lying down together. Sigh. He's such a bloody fangirl.

"I hate to crush your hopes and aspirations, but seriously Tyler, I was only getting him back for scaring me in the dark last night."

Tyler blinks and grins, and I realise how wrong my last sentence sounded. Jesus Christ.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," he brushes it off, still grinning madly. "I —"

"Phan isn't real," Phil suddenly snaps. I cast my eyes in his direction. His expression is deadly serious and he looks like he might murder a maimed cat right now. And I think that the maimed cat today is going to be Tyler. "And if you want to live your stupid fantasy where Dan and I live this secret life behind our YouTube videos and actually engage in a relationship together, then you can get the hell out of my bedroom."

Tyler is shocked. I am too, if I'm honest. I stare at Phil. He doesn't get really angry very often, when when he does it's like a freaking shit storm and I always feel like hiding beneath the bed as opposed to facing the wrath of Phil. Even so, I gape at him now; his cheeks bright red and his black hair tousled. "Phil!" I hiss. I turn to Tyler. "I'm sorry, Tyler. God. Do you want to come back here in the next hour or so? We can do our collab then."

He nods quietly. "Yeah, sure. Thanks Dan."

We make eye contact and then he turns away and leaves our flat. When I hear our front door click shut I reel on Phil.
"What the actual fuck?" I whisper-shout. "Tyler was joking with us. He knows..."

Phil looks unapologetic. "That Phan isn't real?" he snaps. "But is it?"

I look at the floor. I don't know what to say, so I sit on the edge of the bed, right next to Phil. He sighs. "What are we, Dan?"

I clear my throat. The clock on his bedside locker suddenly seems very loud. "We're definitely not what the fanfics define us as," I shudder. "I really don't know. You know that I love you more than hot chocolate —"

He raises his eyebrows.

"Okay, fine. Almost as much as hot chocolate. I'm just scared to actually..."

"Go out with me?" Phil finishes my sentence. "That's okay. I'm scared too. I'm nervous about what the phandom would think. It's like telling them that they were right all along about us, isn't it?"

I nod. "And I like that we can talk like this. I can talk to you like you're my conscience or something. I literally don't have to hide anything from you."

I see something flash in his eyes but I ignore it. I don't want to think about the past.

"I love you," Phil whispers, barely audible. I lean in slowly and press my lips to his cheek softly, and lean back. He smiles sadly. "You should call Tyler. Actually, wait. I should call him. I was such a jerk."

"Yeah, you were," I don't even try to disagree with him. "I don't want to lose the only few friends that I actually have, Phil."

"You won't ever lose me," he suppresses a smile, and my heart does that weird flippy thing in my chest. I feel like our hearts are magnetic, and that I'm being drawn closer to him.

This time, Phil leans into kiss me and his lips crash into mine gently. I close my eyes and knot my hands into his tee shirt. His hand is on my leg and it lies there, completely still. I kiss him back a little harder, sliding my tongue into his mouth ever-so-slightly.

Is Phan real? I don't know, but whatever this is right here is definitely real.

And I don't want it to ever end.